BBBRRRRAAAAIIIINNNNSSSS.....

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. Since Kim had major abdominal surgery when Adam was born, she’s been fairly immobile. It takes her about five minutes (literally) to sit up in bed so if Adam woke up needing changed and fed (because it’s a package deal in our household when it comes to infants) it would take her forever to get to it and there would be a lot of bending over to get the tote with all the stuff in it, twist around to get Adam, getting back to where she can sit comfortable, etc. etc.

So I’ve been sleeping on Kim’s side and taking care of Adam. A couple of times Kim has helped out usually around 4 in the morning when I’m feeling particularly… non-sympathetic. I’m not a bad guy or anything, there are just times when you lean on your spouse and say I can’t do it this time, I’ll go insane, you do it. It happens and that boat rows both ways.

But lately I’ve been doing it all at night and I am worn OUT. People come in at work and talk to me and I’m not my usual chipper self. I have tried to write a couple of blogs for the 5th Fret but they came out bitter, incredibly sarcastic, jumbled and ultimately boring. I couldn’t even proof read them, they were so boring. I couldn’t in good conscience post those, now could I?

I feel very zombie right now. And each day it gets worse and worse. It’s rough. Honestly, a ton of people LOVE the newborn phase. I honestly can’t see why. The baby doesn’t smile, talk, recognize you, sleep through the night, or reward you in ANY way besides breathing. I don’t mean to sound like a douche or anything, but that’s the truth. The first few months is ROUGH.

But then the fog clears and smiles start coming out, babbling starts, maybe some rolling or crawling, but honestly it’s just that smile that really matters because that probably happens first and with it you know that things are going to be OK, and they’re only going to get better.

I wonder if post partum depression occurs more with first time parents or parents who already have kid(s). My money’s on parents without kids. Parents with kids know it’s going to get better, no worries, just keep. Pushing. Through.

That’s what we’re doing right now, just pushing through.