"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

In conversation, I often mention that I'm putting paperwork to cross train into a different career field. It isn't that m job is awful, it's just not for me. People fly and love to fly. I love to fly commercially as a passenger, but I'm not so keen on the added responsibilities that flyer's have. That's just me though.

So when I say this people often ask me what job I want to cross train into. Well, there's a few. Mainly they are the ones on the ground that wear their blues often, but there are some that stand out.

I do plan on auditioning for AFN (or Armed Forces Network) hopefully as a radio personality. TV's fine, but I don't feel it is where I would excel. I also want to put in to be a journalist for the Air Force.

These are both dream jobs, sure, but I've been told all my life that I have a vivid personality that would work for entertainment but a face that demands to be seen on the radio. I've also been told from a young age that I am excellent in writing and over the time that I have been writing, especially things like the 5th Fret, I feel like I've been honing my style into something that is both unique and awesome.

I'm not trying to brag or anything. I've read a ton of official or semi-official documents and they are dry as dirt. Who would WANT to read that? And I'm not even trying to write official documents, but articles for base newspapers or magazines. I think my conversational style of writing would come across well.

At least, since writing for the 5th Fret I haven't received any hate mail saying that my writing is crap.

However, recently I've begun to doubt my writing ability. I can't help but feel passed over when something else gets more attention. I'm sure there's a childhood psychological reason to this, but it makes me feel that perhaps I'm not good enough.

After all, tons of people tell other people that they are great singers - amazing singers and if they went on American Idol they would win for sure. The people then go to the audition and find out they aren't good at all and that their friends were just being nice.

It's hard to take that pill. I write and think I'm good at it, other people say I'm good at it, it feels good to be behind the keyboard, typing away, sometimes just watching my fingers FLY and think to myself this is fun. Because it is. It's fun and it seems to be a talent.

I'm not complaining too loud about a particular event or anything because it isn't just ONE event, but it definitely does feel like I'm being ignored and maybe it IS because I'm not good enough.

And if I'm not good at something that I genuinely think I'm talented at, how good am I at anything else?

Ah well. Dont' worry about me, I'll bounce back. I always do. And I'll probably write even more when I do. Maybe if I'm not good enough now, I just need more practice. Charles Schulz was of that mind and look where he ended up. I just need to keep working at it and keep putting things out there.

Until then it's nice to have this seperate space to vent when things aren't going all that well. Charles Schulz didn't have that. He ended up going a little nuts because of it.

-Russ

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel pretty great abotu what I do. There are a lot of perks to being a flyer. You get to wear the flight suit, you get to wear wings, you get to know you are part of less than 1.5% of the enlisted AF and most of the other jobs either exist to directly or indrectly serve you (meaing to get you in the air and keep you there, not serve YOU specifically). Whenever there are check rides there is check ride beer and in very few other jobs would you finish with a mission and sit around and talk about it while you drink FREE beer (unless it's your check ride, then you're buying the beer).

My AF coin, a thing every AF member is supposed to have on them at all times for the coin chellenge game (someone throws down their coin with an audible slap and everyone has to produce a military coin of their own. If they do NOT have a coin, they buy the next round. If they DO have a coin, YOU buy the next round. This can make for a fun time) is a bottle opener with my wings on it.

We're a very proud people.

But flying jobs are limited both to aircrafts and to bases. My particular plane is INCREDIBY limited and as a result you see a lot of folks stay at a base for far longer than a non-flying enlisted AF member (some people stay upwards of TEN years before moving, some even SIXTEEN meaning they would go ONE other place and probably retire). I joined the AF to see the world and pay the bills and hopefully have a lot of fun along the way and while I AM having fun (now more than ever in my career), I am about to turn in my cross training paperwork to ground myself and get a different job.

Part of me is bummed about it. I know a lot of people are going to ask why I wanted to LEAVE flying when so many people are trying to get into the fields, and the wings are permanently attached to my uniform (it's a rule) so I'll always be open to those questions, but I want to go more places and see more things. I want to go back to Tucson, and go overseas. I don't want to be limited.

That's pretty much it. I don't want to be limited.

So while flying is awesome for some people, and is something that I would probably enjoy if I weren't surveillance (perhaps a boom operator, or load master), I'll be leaving it (hopefully) soon.

Meanwhile, let me tell you about this morning:

We woke up, and took Annie to the Air Museum because she loves planes. It's odd to see her love things that we don't really expose her to, but she comes to naturally. I think the thing she loves more than anything in the world is trains. All the time, if she sees a train, she's happy and she wants to touch it or play with it. She loves trains. She loves planes too. And cars. She's very tomboy.

Of course she loves guitars too...

Anyway, after the museum we went to Cracker Barrel and ate, then went to Target and picked up some assorted chemicals and the movie Cars for Annie.

It doesn't SOUND like a lot, but to a two year old it is. She went down for a nap and she really went DOWN. I think she was asleep within five minutes of closing the door.

Awesome.

Back!

I apologize for not writing recently. I’ve been obsessed with keeping the maps updated and on the front page. That’s my fault. And I’m sorry.

But hey! I have news!

I bought an iPhone. I’m pretty freaking stoked about it though I do have SOME minor complaints, like how in the office it makes for an awful iPod. After a little while the iPhone locks so when a song comes on that you aren’t in the mood to listen to, you have to unlock the iPhone, select iPod if you’ve gone to any other screen and then press next track. Good thing I have an actual iPod.

Anyhoo, I love my iPhone. I have a Facebook app and a Myspace app though honestly I’m on Facebook much more. Facebook just seems to have more friends though I really wish everyone in the world would log onto one system and keep everything updated like maiden names, schools you attended, etc. etc. That way I could find anyone I’m after.

Ah, but that’s the crux of the matter, eh? Enticing people to go to a different social networking site? Look at Virb. I haven’t heard anything on Virb’s front, but when I was on it, it was very very slow. Almost dead...

I’m ALSO very excited to have my iPhone because I plan to get a blogging app so I can update the blog when Kim goes the hospital to have our next child, a baby boy.

I’m hoping it works out and I can add pictures directly from my phone AND type in landscape mode (it’s the only way to go, really) so I can keep everyone updated on what’s happening.

I know you’ll be just as anxious as I will be.:-)

Should be good stuff!

2009

2009 is the year of activity for me. I want to see just how much stuff I can do before the year is up and so far I think I'm doing pretty good. I've read something like 25 books, written over 50 blogs for the 5th Fret, took three pretty challenging professional tests, took something like 13 CLEPs out in the desert (they're free for the military to take, by the way, so you take them and if you fail you just try again in six months) and I'm only six credit hours away from my associates.

Now, a little tangent. I fully realize how sad it is that I graduated in 2002 and here in 2009 am planning on finishing my FIRST degree. That's seven years for a two year degree. Yeah, I don't feel so great about that. But rather than let it beat me down and give up altogether because it's just easier to say you never went to college or you could do it if you weren't so damn busy, I'm not playing that game, at least this year. Besides, it's still kind of a big thing and at the core, it's something to be proud of. I THINK - I'm pretty sure - that I'll be the first person to get a degree higher than a high school diploma or a technical degree. I'm pretty excited about it, but I'm even more excited to get started on my bachelors.

Anyhoo, back to the activity. I moved, I took my Staff Sergeant test, and (don't say this too loud) I don't think I did TOO bad on it so let's hope the cut off score is really low and everyone else was sick or distracted when they took it so I can be really high and get my stripe soon.

For those in the know, making Staff is a big deal. My dad retired as an E-5 in the Navy (which is a petty-officer 2nd class, but in the AF is Staff Sergeant) after being in the Navy for 20 (I wish I could capitalize numbers) years. Here I am, I've been in for a little over four years now, and I've taken the test once and missed the cut off score so I'm hoping to get my stripe before my fifth year mark and start working on E-6. While I wouldn't be happy at ALL retiring as an E-6, I could at least know I did one better than dad. And if I make it to E-8 (one step away from E-9, the highest you can go) I will have made it past my father in law.

Of COURSE let's not forget the baby that's on the way. That'll be quite the hash mark on the "things done" list.

Tons of stuff and I'm trying not to be lazy about it. I'm pretty excited.

Video for Mark!

I guess everyone else can enjoy it too:

Progress

I know you want to know. May was a record month for the 5th Fret. I have been accepted by Guitar World on their blips page which isn't THAT big of an honor but one more place that my blog can be read giving me a wider audience and probably GW some more money in some way. I don't mind.

Because of this GW thing I was able to join a forum of blog writers where I'm learning all sorts of stuff like their monthly numbers and let me say right now, I'm pretty sure I'm the lowest number-getting person there. I don't beat myself up about it though because if you look at my numbers, so long as I'm posting, the numbers are going up.

There was that time when I deployed where the numbers did go down, fairly steadily while I was gone but then I came back early May, started blogging as soon as I could and the numbers went past the previous record of 1,1XX (x=something I can't remember) to 2,0XX. The website was visited over 2,000 times in May. And that seems so small written out, I know, but honestly, when I started writing, I was happy that over 100 people came to visit. So there's progress being made, the numbers are going up, I think my writing is improving and there are even guest contributions about cool stuff I happened upon, one of them scheduled to come out on the 12th has an incredibly well-written article to go along with his amazing pictures.

I'm proud.

One Of THOSE Days

So, in a nutshell, I came back from a deployment to the desert and got a ton of stuff done with not that many breaks. It isn't a big deal.

But then we moved.

When we moved we didn't feel like paying the movers an arm and a leg to move EVERYTHING wanting them to focus instead on the furniture or heavy things (like boxes of books). They'd take apart the beds, crib, dresser, etc. and put them back together at the house. It makes sense to us to move like this because I think my time and energy is worth the money I paid these guys. I don't want to lift that crazy stuff.

The apartment was not done the day we moved (Tuesday) so we worked on it, section by section until it was done (yesterday). We tackled Annie's room, bathroom and the porch, then we tackled the master bedroom, closet, and bathroom which took all day (the closet took all day and it was my fault), then we did a hallway, the kitchen, the dining room and living room. It SUCKED to sit down last night, WICKED tired from all this work, work that just spread out all over the place and think to myself, NOW I get to go to work.

I'm not excited.

But at least I'll be in a different office, so there's good news.