http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/12/11/2008-12-11_kentucky_fried_chicken_trio_photographed.html
How often do I post links in my blog? Not very often. I’d say a pretty amazing story would need to come through for me to link to it for your pleasure.
This is one of those articles. Go ahead and read it. I’ll wait.
…
That’s GROSS, eh? Not the fact that girls had been bathing in the sink but that they would want to bathe in a sink that others use to wash dishes or even prepare food in.
The garbage disposal in my kitchen sink often pushes up food that had been theoretically disposed of through the disposal. The dishwasher does something or other and it freaks out the sink and up comes all sorts of nastiness. But that nastiness is just food, food that I had eaten (well, not the EXACT food that I had eaten) so how gross could it be?
It’s still pretty gross and I don’t think the idea would EVER pop into my head naturally that MAYBE I should bathe in it.
You know who WOULD think of that?
Gross people.
Also, did you know that ladies are not supposed to take bubble baths as there has been a correlation shown between bubble baths and UTIs? So, if bubble – soap essentially – isn’t supposed to be in the bath with you, how good would all the stuff in THIS sink be?
The idea makes me shudder.
And yeah, maybe I shouldn’t post a blog like this because it reflects poorly on KFC (and Burger King too) BUT I think this blog SHOULD be posted and EVERYONE should either read it here, or tell their friends, send out mass emails, make phone calls, whatever it takes to get this out there and make it become mass knowledge. WE should do this so KFC learns the lesson that their restaurants should always have managers on duty. Always.
At least a shift lead. Someone who is making enough money and who has enough personal responsibility that they would not let this happen.
Because this just plain shouldn’t happen. The fact that it popped into someone’s head perplexes me to no end and to think that one of the chicks tries on a seductive face in the picture?! Look, little girlie, if you bathe with the Colonel, I know I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you sexually (though you may smell AMAZING). That’s faulty logic on her part.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Meet The Buttertons!
Some vegetable oil spread commercial shows your typical Leave it to Beaver family in a black and white setting with a whole stick of butter in their potatoes, whole sticks of butter in just about everything and a condescending announcer says that we didn’t know then what we know of now about cholesterol and trans fats and as a result we can never go back to that.
Because we’re smarter.
But I say that while butter may be bad for you (what isn’t?) it sure does taste a lot better than any of that healthy or healthier oil spread any company is advertising. None of it tastes convincing and I frankly feel like I’m being ripped off.
I think FOOD is being ripped off.
There’s a reason that cooks like Paula Dean are so famous, that everyone is after a “home-cooked” taste. It’s because it tastes better. All the fat, all the grease, everything that will kill you but tastes amazing is what draws people back again and again.
Yes, Americans are having a tough time controlling how much fattening food they eat and their exercise programs so there is a shift in the balance toward the obese BUT the food IS delicious.
So maybe we need to rethink how we eat. I mean, what we have right now is substitution with no change in quantity or frequency. What we sacrifice in an effort to improve health matters while maintain quantity and frequency is taste. Without the taste, that itch just won’t get scratched. You will get full though from all that food AND probably overweight if you eat it every day.
So here’s what I propose. Use butter and whole milk and everything that they tell you NOT to use, but limit the amount of these meals to once a week or once every two weeks and then limit the portion. Whereas you might have just eaten chicken until the bucket was empty you can now say “two or three pieces and that’s it.”
For the other six or thirteen days eat healthy stuff. Lots of vegetables, grilled chicken, seafood, that kind of stuff. Sea salt instead of regular salt.
And exercise. Help yourself speed up your metabolism by exercising and not popping pills.
I think with this change, though radical, you’ll be happier. The taste itch is scratched, the other meals are healthy and if you cook like my wife does, they’re just as delicious (she can grill the hell out of some chicken and my god, it is DELICIOUS!) and seafood is awesome anyway.
Here’s a tip with the seafood though: there’s no need for melted butter. With stuff like crab legs, just eat them right out of the shell. There’s no need to dip them in anything. If you need flavor, pull the meat and shake your favorite seasoning on it.
So here’s to you, healthy America!
Because we’re smarter.
But I say that while butter may be bad for you (what isn’t?) it sure does taste a lot better than any of that healthy or healthier oil spread any company is advertising. None of it tastes convincing and I frankly feel like I’m being ripped off.
I think FOOD is being ripped off.
There’s a reason that cooks like Paula Dean are so famous, that everyone is after a “home-cooked” taste. It’s because it tastes better. All the fat, all the grease, everything that will kill you but tastes amazing is what draws people back again and again.
Yes, Americans are having a tough time controlling how much fattening food they eat and their exercise programs so there is a shift in the balance toward the obese BUT the food IS delicious.
So maybe we need to rethink how we eat. I mean, what we have right now is substitution with no change in quantity or frequency. What we sacrifice in an effort to improve health matters while maintain quantity and frequency is taste. Without the taste, that itch just won’t get scratched. You will get full though from all that food AND probably overweight if you eat it every day.
So here’s what I propose. Use butter and whole milk and everything that they tell you NOT to use, but limit the amount of these meals to once a week or once every two weeks and then limit the portion. Whereas you might have just eaten chicken until the bucket was empty you can now say “two or three pieces and that’s it.”
For the other six or thirteen days eat healthy stuff. Lots of vegetables, grilled chicken, seafood, that kind of stuff. Sea salt instead of regular salt.
And exercise. Help yourself speed up your metabolism by exercising and not popping pills.
I think with this change, though radical, you’ll be happier. The taste itch is scratched, the other meals are healthy and if you cook like my wife does, they’re just as delicious (she can grill the hell out of some chicken and my god, it is DELICIOUS!) and seafood is awesome anyway.
Here’s a tip with the seafood though: there’s no need for melted butter. With stuff like crab legs, just eat them right out of the shell. There’s no need to dip them in anything. If you need flavor, pull the meat and shake your favorite seasoning on it.
So here’s to you, healthy America!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The Tucson Children's Museum
During our vacation to Tucson, AZ we went to the Children’s Museum downtown. It definitely deserves to be written about.
We pulled into the parking spot beside a beautiful building I would normally associate with California in the Hollywood section. Pretty trees, nice landscaping and a very… California feel to it. I liked it.
However, there were two homeless folks outside the museum. I couldn’t help but wonder, if you’re homeless, why would you want to go to a children’s museum? There doesn’t seem to be any logic to that at all. It’s one thing to hang out at a bus station or someplace that’s free and warm but outside a children’s museum seems like quite a stretch.
And, not to sound like a douche or anything, but it didn’t make me feel that safe about getting out of the car. Now, I know they’re probably great people who just had a bit of bad luck and they ended up where they were, but as a Dad, like I said before, I’m a protector first.
There wasn’t much to worry about though because between the time I got out of the car and the time I got my daughter out of the car, the cops had shown up and was writing one a ticket while the other waited for his. I guess they don’t mess around there. Again, not to sound like a douche, but I was glad.
Inside, Derrick at the desk wanted to know where we were from and how old our daughter was. We had to sign in on their welcome sheet and he remarked “Georgia? That’s pretty far away.”
Indeed, Derrick. Indeed.
The first room was specifically made for little kids. The littlest of kids. Of course, you may not want to bring your babies there, but if you kid can walk around and pick stuff up, they’ll probably have a good time in the room. It was designed like a rainforest with a Mayan temple you could build in the corner from lightweight foam block and once the temple was built the pressure of the blocks would press two buttons on the wall and red lights would flash on the temple. It was pretty cool.
There was a small slide that was what skateboards call a pyramid, where you have an incline that you climb and then a flat surface and THEN the slide down. Below the flat part at the top, there was a scene of plants and large plastic insects that you could see through plexi-glass. Annie wasn’t so interested in this though. She wasn’t really interested in anything that the museum wanted her to be interested in when it came to this room. She was content to stand in the middle and just stare at everything. I’d climb in some foam block builder things and try to coax her in but she wasn’t having it. She just wanted to stare.
And then these kids came in, kids way too old for the room, and started terrorizing the place. It was the kind of situation where you felt bad for the things in the room, inanimate things. Their parents were there on the sidelines saying “now Johnny, don’t do that,” but they said it without feeling and you could tell they weren’t really interested.
I hate parents like that. You should be interested and willing to put some feeling into everything you do for your kid, even if you’re disciplining them. ESPECIALLY if you’re disciplining them. If you need to be like “Hey! Johnny, you do that one more time and we’re going to go someplace with video surveillance!” even if it’s an empty threat, you do that. Go ahead. Unless you’re literally BEATING your kid they need to be kept in line when you’re out so do what you need to do. Just don’t break the law. And for god’s sake, watch out for little kids. I may be a protector but I can’t be right next to my daughter all the time and I swear to god if your nine-year-old who’s playing in the 2-and-below room runs into and hurts my kid, him and I are going to have words and if you want to join in, feel free. I seriously doubt there’s going to be much of a nice guy in that situation.
The next room was the train room, and man oh man, Annie loves trains. She loved this room too. There was a giant train in the middle of the room that had a giant tube running through it and Annie was happy as all get-out walking back and forth through the tube. I think if I made a similar thing for her room I’d never see her because she’d be walking all day.
She’d be wicked fit though.
Next up was the health room which was a weird room that had doctor’s coats, this cool drum that was connected to a handprint. You put your hand on the handprint and the drum beat out your heartbeat. It was awesome. But there was all sorts of weird stuff like a large Operation game. The thing was about the size of Annie. There was also a grocery store in there and Annie grabbed a shopping cart and started throwing stuff in it and then taking stuff out and then throwing it back in.
And these OTHER kids came in with the same kind of inattentive parents and this little brat walked right up to Annie, emptied out the cart and took it away. Instinct said grab the kid by the hair, move him and take the cart back, but I restrained. Surely his parents would discipline him for taking something that someone else was using but THEY were too busy playing Dance Dance Revolution (seriously). Good job parents.
Anyway, Kim was on me about talking too loud when I mentioned that it’s CRAZY THAT YOU CAN’T GO OUT WITHOUT SOME FREAKING BRAT TAKING SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE ELSE WAS USING and that kind of stuff. She shut me up pretty quick, but I was pissed. I mean, Annie wasn’t bugging anyone, she’s small as can be and here’s this little kid that you just KNOW is going to grow up to be a douche taking stuff from her. I wanted to tell her and have her understand that this is the kind of guy she’s going to see all her life and she is never to date them. Ever. But she’s not even two, so I’ll have to wait.
Next up was the dinosaur room. I’m a HUGE fan of dinosaurs, have been since I was a kid and I’m always interested in seeing them. If a movie has them in it, I’ll watch it. If a museum has a display, I’ll go to it. I’ll go by myself if I have to. I don’t mind. This room had dinos that looked real and more importantly, they looked like they could move. There was a fence between you and them, but you could tell by the joints that they could indeed move.
Now, when I was a kid and went to a similar museum, they had a holograph of a T Rex skull that looked like it was about five feet long and it was looking right at you. Of course it was flat but as I got closer I started getting a little nervous and greatly excited and my freaking mom grabbed me and shocked the hell out of me leaving me struggling for breath. Ever since then, if a dinosaur looks like it can move, I approach with caution and an ever present eye to the peripherals.
And they did indeed move. They didn’t move nearly as much as I thought they would but they DID move and it was fun to watch. Annie enjoyed it.
Yet, again, even MORE annoying kids came in and tried to ruin it. They went right up to the fence blocking the view, their parents were trying to take pictures of them and the kids were even leaning over the fence grabbing a T Rex’s teeth and all without any yelling ro warning. Look, I know this blog is coming off like I think kids should be heavily disciplined. I don’t. I think they should be disciplined accordingly, that’s all. And some freaking kid trying to climb into a dinosaur’s mouth is how things get broken, more visually intrusive fences go up and the distance between you and them gets bigger and bigger and less fun.
Don’t let your kid be the douche that is responsible for this.
The funny thing that happened though was one kid was trying to grab a tooth in the T Rex’s mouth and his sister says AND I QUOTE: “He’s going to eat you!”
And Andrew (his real name. Screw the innocent) said “I like being eaten!”
I thought that was funny.
It was a great trip altogether though. I had a blast and Annie enjoyed it too.
We pulled into the parking spot beside a beautiful building I would normally associate with California in the Hollywood section. Pretty trees, nice landscaping and a very… California feel to it. I liked it.
However, there were two homeless folks outside the museum. I couldn’t help but wonder, if you’re homeless, why would you want to go to a children’s museum? There doesn’t seem to be any logic to that at all. It’s one thing to hang out at a bus station or someplace that’s free and warm but outside a children’s museum seems like quite a stretch.
And, not to sound like a douche or anything, but it didn’t make me feel that safe about getting out of the car. Now, I know they’re probably great people who just had a bit of bad luck and they ended up where they were, but as a Dad, like I said before, I’m a protector first.
There wasn’t much to worry about though because between the time I got out of the car and the time I got my daughter out of the car, the cops had shown up and was writing one a ticket while the other waited for his. I guess they don’t mess around there. Again, not to sound like a douche, but I was glad.
Inside, Derrick at the desk wanted to know where we were from and how old our daughter was. We had to sign in on their welcome sheet and he remarked “Georgia? That’s pretty far away.”
Indeed, Derrick. Indeed.
The first room was specifically made for little kids. The littlest of kids. Of course, you may not want to bring your babies there, but if you kid can walk around and pick stuff up, they’ll probably have a good time in the room. It was designed like a rainforest with a Mayan temple you could build in the corner from lightweight foam block and once the temple was built the pressure of the blocks would press two buttons on the wall and red lights would flash on the temple. It was pretty cool.
There was a small slide that was what skateboards call a pyramid, where you have an incline that you climb and then a flat surface and THEN the slide down. Below the flat part at the top, there was a scene of plants and large plastic insects that you could see through plexi-glass. Annie wasn’t so interested in this though. She wasn’t really interested in anything that the museum wanted her to be interested in when it came to this room. She was content to stand in the middle and just stare at everything. I’d climb in some foam block builder things and try to coax her in but she wasn’t having it. She just wanted to stare.
And then these kids came in, kids way too old for the room, and started terrorizing the place. It was the kind of situation where you felt bad for the things in the room, inanimate things. Their parents were there on the sidelines saying “now Johnny, don’t do that,” but they said it without feeling and you could tell they weren’t really interested.
I hate parents like that. You should be interested and willing to put some feeling into everything you do for your kid, even if you’re disciplining them. ESPECIALLY if you’re disciplining them. If you need to be like “Hey! Johnny, you do that one more time and we’re going to go someplace with video surveillance!” even if it’s an empty threat, you do that. Go ahead. Unless you’re literally BEATING your kid they need to be kept in line when you’re out so do what you need to do. Just don’t break the law. And for god’s sake, watch out for little kids. I may be a protector but I can’t be right next to my daughter all the time and I swear to god if your nine-year-old who’s playing in the 2-and-below room runs into and hurts my kid, him and I are going to have words and if you want to join in, feel free. I seriously doubt there’s going to be much of a nice guy in that situation.
The next room was the train room, and man oh man, Annie loves trains. She loved this room too. There was a giant train in the middle of the room that had a giant tube running through it and Annie was happy as all get-out walking back and forth through the tube. I think if I made a similar thing for her room I’d never see her because she’d be walking all day.
She’d be wicked fit though.
Next up was the health room which was a weird room that had doctor’s coats, this cool drum that was connected to a handprint. You put your hand on the handprint and the drum beat out your heartbeat. It was awesome. But there was all sorts of weird stuff like a large Operation game. The thing was about the size of Annie. There was also a grocery store in there and Annie grabbed a shopping cart and started throwing stuff in it and then taking stuff out and then throwing it back in.
And these OTHER kids came in with the same kind of inattentive parents and this little brat walked right up to Annie, emptied out the cart and took it away. Instinct said grab the kid by the hair, move him and take the cart back, but I restrained. Surely his parents would discipline him for taking something that someone else was using but THEY were too busy playing Dance Dance Revolution (seriously). Good job parents.
Anyway, Kim was on me about talking too loud when I mentioned that it’s CRAZY THAT YOU CAN’T GO OUT WITHOUT SOME FREAKING BRAT TAKING SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE ELSE WAS USING and that kind of stuff. She shut me up pretty quick, but I was pissed. I mean, Annie wasn’t bugging anyone, she’s small as can be and here’s this little kid that you just KNOW is going to grow up to be a douche taking stuff from her. I wanted to tell her and have her understand that this is the kind of guy she’s going to see all her life and she is never to date them. Ever. But she’s not even two, so I’ll have to wait.
Next up was the dinosaur room. I’m a HUGE fan of dinosaurs, have been since I was a kid and I’m always interested in seeing them. If a movie has them in it, I’ll watch it. If a museum has a display, I’ll go to it. I’ll go by myself if I have to. I don’t mind. This room had dinos that looked real and more importantly, they looked like they could move. There was a fence between you and them, but you could tell by the joints that they could indeed move.
Now, when I was a kid and went to a similar museum, they had a holograph of a T Rex skull that looked like it was about five feet long and it was looking right at you. Of course it was flat but as I got closer I started getting a little nervous and greatly excited and my freaking mom grabbed me and shocked the hell out of me leaving me struggling for breath. Ever since then, if a dinosaur looks like it can move, I approach with caution and an ever present eye to the peripherals.
And they did indeed move. They didn’t move nearly as much as I thought they would but they DID move and it was fun to watch. Annie enjoyed it.
Yet, again, even MORE annoying kids came in and tried to ruin it. They went right up to the fence blocking the view, their parents were trying to take pictures of them and the kids were even leaning over the fence grabbing a T Rex’s teeth and all without any yelling ro warning. Look, I know this blog is coming off like I think kids should be heavily disciplined. I don’t. I think they should be disciplined accordingly, that’s all. And some freaking kid trying to climb into a dinosaur’s mouth is how things get broken, more visually intrusive fences go up and the distance between you and them gets bigger and bigger and less fun.
Don’t let your kid be the douche that is responsible for this.
The funny thing that happened though was one kid was trying to grab a tooth in the T Rex’s mouth and his sister says AND I QUOTE: “He’s going to eat you!”
And Andrew (his real name. Screw the innocent) said “I like being eaten!”
I thought that was funny.
It was a great trip altogether though. I had a blast and Annie enjoyed it too.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Anticipation For Guest Blogs!
A blog has certain milestones to be considered legitimate and the only one that REALLY matters is “is someone reading this?” That’s pretty much it.
And good for you for reading.
However, there’s one milestone that I always thought was cool and that was the Guest Blog. I never understood why someone would want someone ELSE to write for their blog, their personal blog that is (the 5th Fret has five contributing writers right now, myself included but it is not a personal blog). And yet, I’m super excited to say that I am going to host a guest blog from another writer out there.
It just so happens that my wife is going to be writing the guest blog to give us all BIG news so stay tuned to the blog and keep coming back for your daily does of Russ’ Random Thoughts and be on the lookout for a blog from her.
I know I’m excited to see it!
And good for you for reading.
However, there’s one milestone that I always thought was cool and that was the Guest Blog. I never understood why someone would want someone ELSE to write for their blog, their personal blog that is (the 5th Fret has five contributing writers right now, myself included but it is not a personal blog). And yet, I’m super excited to say that I am going to host a guest blog from another writer out there.
It just so happens that my wife is going to be writing the guest blog to give us all BIG news so stay tuned to the blog and keep coming back for your daily does of Russ’ Random Thoughts and be on the lookout for a blog from her.
I know I’m excited to see it!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Dream Rig
I’ve been thinking about, researching, tweaking, and swapping out various amps and pedals to make my dream rig, the rig that if I were to become famous (stranger things have happened) kids would go out and try to reproduce.
I’d like to share that rig with you and why I’d like it.
It starts with a guitar. My Gretsch 6118T is an amazing guitar. It’s comfortable, it doesn’t feedback unless I want it to, it is responsive and feels great. The frets are a comfortable size, the fingerboard is ebony and looks and feels amazing. The only thing I plan on doing is swapping the pickups. While I like the TV Jones Classics that are in it right now, I’d like something with a bit more output and a bit more hotness. I am NOT looking for super-hot, only-sounds-good-when-the-gain-is-cranked. I’m looking for a balance here.
The balance is hoped to be achieved by putting a TV Jones Powertron in the neck and a TV Jones Classic Plus in the bridge. I love the Gretsch sparkle, but LOVE to play dirty stuff and this just seems more up my alley. I also like a more Gibson-ey jazz sound so I’m hoping the Powertron is able to support that. I’m pretty sure it will be able to.
Then to the amp! A Fender Princeton Reverb clone through a 2X12. I think the Fender sound provides the greatest base possible for any sound because it has a great sound all on its own. I don’t need 100 watts. I don’t need 50 watts. I don’t even need 30 watts. I don’t need much at all, especially in these days of miking amps through PAs for live performances (assuming I’ll be playing live). Reverb is ALWAYS good to have, as an option at the very least. It’s great for recording and for bedroom playing, but obviously if you’re playing in a big room you may have all the reverb you want naturally. I REALLY like my reverb, so I’m betting I’d still turn it up.
So we have the guitar, amp, and pickups covered. There’s only one thing left:
Pedals.
Ah, pedals. Little boxes of joy. Toys for guitarists. Secret weapons in your sonic arsenal.
I love the attitude and response I received from Pro Tone pedals and was basically sold before I even started doing research on them, but now that I HAVE, I want my whole pedal section to come from Pro Tone.
And what would be in that section?
I used to think I’d like three distortion pedals, one for rockabilly “just a bit of hair on the notes” kind of tone, one that has balls-to-the-wall classic rock tone, like AC/DC where it’s distorted but in all the best ways. Clarity is maintained, but all the attitude and joy of cranking up amps is still there in the same package. I’d like a pedal with a metal tone too. Ungodly metal sounds. Kill ‘Em All kind of sounds.
And right next to these three distortion pedals would be a delay.
That would be all, actually. I know guitarists put all sorts of boxes in front of their amps and have wahs, and phasers, flangers (it’s the year of the flanger donchaknow), envelope filters, etc. etc. and honestly I’m just not that interested in that kind of stuff. I’m a pretty straightforward kind of player.
SPECIFICALLY, the pedals on the board would be a Digitech Bad Monkey which I already have. It’s basically a Tube Screamer and right now, it’s all I can justify for getting a sound I probably won’t use all that often. I love rockabilly, but I spend more time playing rhythm and chords than trying to rip out rockabilly single-note runs. It’s still nice to have though.
RIGHT NOW, both the classic rock sound and the metal sound would be supplied by the Pro Tone Body Rot II, which seems to be not only an incredibly versatile pedal, but one of the best sounding ones I’ve ever heard. Raw and urgent-sounding. Just what I’m after.
Now, if Pro Tone comes out with something more geared toward the classic tones, I’d be inclined to add that to the chain because I really like the idea of set-and-forget pedals where I know if I push the on button on this pedal I have Metallica and this pedal I have AC/DC and this one Brian Setzer. I don’t want to spend much time monkeying with knobs if I have the opportunity to play live.
The delay will come from Pro Tone too. The P.E. Delay specifically.
In all fairness, Pro Tone pedals are not the cheapest pedals in the world, but they are made by a guy who you can call and speak to directly or email anytime you want. Just writing back and forth I know that if I bought a pedal I’d have his support should anything go wrong and that peace of mind is pretty reassuring. The bragging rights of supporting a business here in the States is pretty cool too. That’s just an added bonus though. It also doesn’t hurt that they LOOK pretty awesome too.
And there you go. My dream rig. Pretty awesome, pretty versatile and equipped with just about anything you could ever want.
I’d like to share that rig with you and why I’d like it.
It starts with a guitar. My Gretsch 6118T is an amazing guitar. It’s comfortable, it doesn’t feedback unless I want it to, it is responsive and feels great. The frets are a comfortable size, the fingerboard is ebony and looks and feels amazing. The only thing I plan on doing is swapping the pickups. While I like the TV Jones Classics that are in it right now, I’d like something with a bit more output and a bit more hotness. I am NOT looking for super-hot, only-sounds-good-when-the-gain-is-cranked. I’m looking for a balance here.
The balance is hoped to be achieved by putting a TV Jones Powertron in the neck and a TV Jones Classic Plus in the bridge. I love the Gretsch sparkle, but LOVE to play dirty stuff and this just seems more up my alley. I also like a more Gibson-ey jazz sound so I’m hoping the Powertron is able to support that. I’m pretty sure it will be able to.
Then to the amp! A Fender Princeton Reverb clone through a 2X12. I think the Fender sound provides the greatest base possible for any sound because it has a great sound all on its own. I don’t need 100 watts. I don’t need 50 watts. I don’t even need 30 watts. I don’t need much at all, especially in these days of miking amps through PAs for live performances (assuming I’ll be playing live). Reverb is ALWAYS good to have, as an option at the very least. It’s great for recording and for bedroom playing, but obviously if you’re playing in a big room you may have all the reverb you want naturally. I REALLY like my reverb, so I’m betting I’d still turn it up.
So we have the guitar, amp, and pickups covered. There’s only one thing left:
Pedals.
Ah, pedals. Little boxes of joy. Toys for guitarists. Secret weapons in your sonic arsenal.
I love the attitude and response I received from Pro Tone pedals and was basically sold before I even started doing research on them, but now that I HAVE, I want my whole pedal section to come from Pro Tone.
And what would be in that section?
I used to think I’d like three distortion pedals, one for rockabilly “just a bit of hair on the notes” kind of tone, one that has balls-to-the-wall classic rock tone, like AC/DC where it’s distorted but in all the best ways. Clarity is maintained, but all the attitude and joy of cranking up amps is still there in the same package. I’d like a pedal with a metal tone too. Ungodly metal sounds. Kill ‘Em All kind of sounds.
And right next to these three distortion pedals would be a delay.
That would be all, actually. I know guitarists put all sorts of boxes in front of their amps and have wahs, and phasers, flangers (it’s the year of the flanger donchaknow), envelope filters, etc. etc. and honestly I’m just not that interested in that kind of stuff. I’m a pretty straightforward kind of player.
SPECIFICALLY, the pedals on the board would be a Digitech Bad Monkey which I already have. It’s basically a Tube Screamer and right now, it’s all I can justify for getting a sound I probably won’t use all that often. I love rockabilly, but I spend more time playing rhythm and chords than trying to rip out rockabilly single-note runs. It’s still nice to have though.
RIGHT NOW, both the classic rock sound and the metal sound would be supplied by the Pro Tone Body Rot II, which seems to be not only an incredibly versatile pedal, but one of the best sounding ones I’ve ever heard. Raw and urgent-sounding. Just what I’m after.
Now, if Pro Tone comes out with something more geared toward the classic tones, I’d be inclined to add that to the chain because I really like the idea of set-and-forget pedals where I know if I push the on button on this pedal I have Metallica and this pedal I have AC/DC and this one Brian Setzer. I don’t want to spend much time monkeying with knobs if I have the opportunity to play live.
The delay will come from Pro Tone too. The P.E. Delay specifically.
In all fairness, Pro Tone pedals are not the cheapest pedals in the world, but they are made by a guy who you can call and speak to directly or email anytime you want. Just writing back and forth I know that if I bought a pedal I’d have his support should anything go wrong and that peace of mind is pretty reassuring. The bragging rights of supporting a business here in the States is pretty cool too. That’s just an added bonus though. It also doesn’t hurt that they LOOK pretty awesome too.
And there you go. My dream rig. Pretty awesome, pretty versatile and equipped with just about anything you could ever want.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Filling That Big Ugly Hole Inside Of You
I watched an episode of something, I think it was called Toddlers in Tiaras. It showed a dad who was obsessed with making his TWO-year-old daughter a beauty queen.
Look here, Bub: your kid – and this may come as a shock to you – is a flipping KID. No kid should ever be entered into these competitions. Ever.
I understand some teenage girl looking for validation or maybe someone looking to prove they still have it or maybe even someone looking for scholarship money, but the difference here is that these people CHOOSE to enter the competition. Their mommies and daddies didn’t choose for them.
This behavior, I’m not even kidding, is absolutely revolting to me.
My daughter is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I’ve never been more proud, and to me (I’m sure others feel the same way about their own kids) she’s the prettiest, smartest, most awesome little person out there. She’s God to me and I’d do anything to help her and benefit her and I will not hesitate to die for her. I know this with such a certainty that frankly, I think it’s shocking. I am completely willing to lay down my life for that of my daughter’s and there’s not even a question to it. Just pure instinct.
And I’d do anything to protect her too.
That’s my job as a father, you know. To protect my kid(s). When they’re six or seven and want to watch a scary movie, it’s my job to say no way, Jose. It’s my job to give a good once-over to any date that comes to the door and scare the hell out of him with various means to guarantee nothing happens to my little girl that would make me take a lifetime trip to jail.
Parading her in front of judges for some sort of validation on MY part is NOT in the job description. I’m not entirely satisfied with myself as a person – I don’t think anyone is – but the holes inside me will never be filled by having my daughter judged in anything.
Anything.
And to think that there are parents out there who do this literally sickens me. They should have their parent-cards taken away from them and their kids should be given to people who want to have kids that they love and that will be good parents to them.
Fake and bake tans should never be ANYWHERE near a kid. Fake nails should never be near them. I take that back. I remember being a kid and knowing girls who used those press-on nails but that’s a little different than getting a professional nail job done, right? Styling your kid’s hair is something that does come with the territory, but hair should never be dyed, it should never be painfully teased and manipulated to make it bigger, prettier, and more cute in the eyes of judges at the expense of your kid.
That’s the big thing here: I can’t shake the feeling that this is ALL at the flat-out EXPENSE of your kid. That’s the worst part.
If my sweet little girl comes up to me at, let’s say age twelve and says she wants to enter a beauty contest, she can. She asked and she can enter it BUT there will be no dieting and a lot of the rules will still apply here. I don’t want her changing herself to try to be more desirable to someone else.
EVER.
That’s the biggest flaw with these contests, I think. These girls are out there trying to impress someone else and as a result they’re changing themselves to some preconceived notion of how THEY think I want them to look. I’d much rather have a beauty contest with girls who just get dressed up like they’re going to dinner. I’ve never gone to the Olive Garden and seen a sparkle-dress with a huge V cut down the front or back of it with a train unless it was prom night.
I don’t like beauty contests in general (I don’t know if that was obvious or not) but it’s one thing to see adults entering their flipping kids into contests. Oooohhh, and then freaking out about results? Telling your kid they LOST when they got a trophy? Isn’t that going to be the most confusing thing you’ll ever have to explain? “Yes sweetie, angel of mine at the age of only two, they DID give you a trophy as big as you are but it’s a pity trophy. Because you sucked.”
Awful people.
And the BEST thing about it is it seems to be a community unto itself. I have NEVER met ANYONE who would think it’s cool to do anything like this.
So many people say it is NOT OK AT ALL to do this, that I kind of want to go to a contest and ask the parents of these kids just who dropped them on the head or what exact phrase DIDN’T Daddy say to them as a kid. Something had to have happened.
Disgusting.
Look here, Bub: your kid – and this may come as a shock to you – is a flipping KID. No kid should ever be entered into these competitions. Ever.
I understand some teenage girl looking for validation or maybe someone looking to prove they still have it or maybe even someone looking for scholarship money, but the difference here is that these people CHOOSE to enter the competition. Their mommies and daddies didn’t choose for them.
This behavior, I’m not even kidding, is absolutely revolting to me.
My daughter is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I’ve never been more proud, and to me (I’m sure others feel the same way about their own kids) she’s the prettiest, smartest, most awesome little person out there. She’s God to me and I’d do anything to help her and benefit her and I will not hesitate to die for her. I know this with such a certainty that frankly, I think it’s shocking. I am completely willing to lay down my life for that of my daughter’s and there’s not even a question to it. Just pure instinct.
And I’d do anything to protect her too.
That’s my job as a father, you know. To protect my kid(s). When they’re six or seven and want to watch a scary movie, it’s my job to say no way, Jose. It’s my job to give a good once-over to any date that comes to the door and scare the hell out of him with various means to guarantee nothing happens to my little girl that would make me take a lifetime trip to jail.
Parading her in front of judges for some sort of validation on MY part is NOT in the job description. I’m not entirely satisfied with myself as a person – I don’t think anyone is – but the holes inside me will never be filled by having my daughter judged in anything.
Anything.
And to think that there are parents out there who do this literally sickens me. They should have their parent-cards taken away from them and their kids should be given to people who want to have kids that they love and that will be good parents to them.
Fake and bake tans should never be ANYWHERE near a kid. Fake nails should never be near them. I take that back. I remember being a kid and knowing girls who used those press-on nails but that’s a little different than getting a professional nail job done, right? Styling your kid’s hair is something that does come with the territory, but hair should never be dyed, it should never be painfully teased and manipulated to make it bigger, prettier, and more cute in the eyes of judges at the expense of your kid.
That’s the big thing here: I can’t shake the feeling that this is ALL at the flat-out EXPENSE of your kid. That’s the worst part.
If my sweet little girl comes up to me at, let’s say age twelve and says she wants to enter a beauty contest, she can. She asked and she can enter it BUT there will be no dieting and a lot of the rules will still apply here. I don’t want her changing herself to try to be more desirable to someone else.
EVER.
That’s the biggest flaw with these contests, I think. These girls are out there trying to impress someone else and as a result they’re changing themselves to some preconceived notion of how THEY think I want them to look. I’d much rather have a beauty contest with girls who just get dressed up like they’re going to dinner. I’ve never gone to the Olive Garden and seen a sparkle-dress with a huge V cut down the front or back of it with a train unless it was prom night.
I don’t like beauty contests in general (I don’t know if that was obvious or not) but it’s one thing to see adults entering their flipping kids into contests. Oooohhh, and then freaking out about results? Telling your kid they LOST when they got a trophy? Isn’t that going to be the most confusing thing you’ll ever have to explain? “Yes sweetie, angel of mine at the age of only two, they DID give you a trophy as big as you are but it’s a pity trophy. Because you sucked.”
Awful people.
And the BEST thing about it is it seems to be a community unto itself. I have NEVER met ANYONE who would think it’s cool to do anything like this.
So many people say it is NOT OK AT ALL to do this, that I kind of want to go to a contest and ask the parents of these kids just who dropped them on the head or what exact phrase DIDN’T Daddy say to them as a kid. Something had to have happened.
Disgusting.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
We're Breaking Up. We Can Still Be Friends Though.
It was pointed out to me that I spend way too much time on the internet and that PERHAPS I should look at it and ask myself if there’s anything else I would rather be doing with my time.
So I looked at what I do online and it basically comes down to two things: I write blogs and I post on message boards. I go to two forums pretty religiously, and a couple off and on. Just talking about guitars pretty much.
So I thought IS there anything I would rather be doing with my time?
The answer is yes.
What I’d like to do is read, play guitar, maybe do some studying when I start going back to school, etc. etc.
So I stopped going the forums. Not cold turkey, I still visit from time to time, but I’m not on them with nearly the same passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever done something in moderation.
That’s a big deal actually. I’m very much an all or nothing kind of guy so the idea of merely lessening an activity and not completely stopping it kind of blows my mind. It’s something I’m eager to try out.
But the blogging will continue. I was tempted to disconnect myself completely from the computer save putting new CDs on iTunes and updating my iPod, but I didn’t think that would be very fair to anyone. I didn’t think it would be fair to you because maybe you like coming here to kill time. I didn’t think it would be fair to me because I actually get quite a bit of satisfaction both from this blog and the 5th Fret. I’d feel pretty guilty leaving my blogs and their readers.
Anyway, so that’s what’s going on. I woke up today, day one of my lessened activity, spent maybe ten minutes on the internet (a good chunk of that trying to find videos of the Orange Dual Terror and emailing questions to Orange regarding it) checking the forums and not posting much, then finishing a blog for here and then I went to the bathroom to play guitar. I didn’t want to wake up my lovely wife with my horrible playing and it sounds the best in the bathroom (the acoustics are lovely). That, and I was feeling kind of like annoying the neighbors. If you’re in the bathroom at the same time as a neighbor (either next door or below, it doesn’t matter) you can hear what’s going on.
So maybe I made their *ahem* morning ritual interesting with some background music.
And how do I feel with this lessened amount of forum activity? Pretty good actually. I already miss talking about guitars as much, but I enjoyed actually playing guitar. I’m very excited for tomorrow morning where I start my jazz lessons. I figure, if I’m going to wake up that early anyway, I might as well learn stuff instead of just playing around.
So I looked at what I do online and it basically comes down to two things: I write blogs and I post on message boards. I go to two forums pretty religiously, and a couple off and on. Just talking about guitars pretty much.
So I thought IS there anything I would rather be doing with my time?
The answer is yes.
What I’d like to do is read, play guitar, maybe do some studying when I start going back to school, etc. etc.
So I stopped going the forums. Not cold turkey, I still visit from time to time, but I’m not on them with nearly the same passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever done something in moderation.
That’s a big deal actually. I’m very much an all or nothing kind of guy so the idea of merely lessening an activity and not completely stopping it kind of blows my mind. It’s something I’m eager to try out.
But the blogging will continue. I was tempted to disconnect myself completely from the computer save putting new CDs on iTunes and updating my iPod, but I didn’t think that would be very fair to anyone. I didn’t think it would be fair to you because maybe you like coming here to kill time. I didn’t think it would be fair to me because I actually get quite a bit of satisfaction both from this blog and the 5th Fret. I’d feel pretty guilty leaving my blogs and their readers.
Anyway, so that’s what’s going on. I woke up today, day one of my lessened activity, spent maybe ten minutes on the internet (a good chunk of that trying to find videos of the Orange Dual Terror and emailing questions to Orange regarding it) checking the forums and not posting much, then finishing a blog for here and then I went to the bathroom to play guitar. I didn’t want to wake up my lovely wife with my horrible playing and it sounds the best in the bathroom (the acoustics are lovely). That, and I was feeling kind of like annoying the neighbors. If you’re in the bathroom at the same time as a neighbor (either next door or below, it doesn’t matter) you can hear what’s going on.
So maybe I made their *ahem* morning ritual interesting with some background music.
And how do I feel with this lessened amount of forum activity? Pretty good actually. I already miss talking about guitars as much, but I enjoyed actually playing guitar. I’m very excited for tomorrow morning where I start my jazz lessons. I figure, if I’m going to wake up that early anyway, I might as well learn stuff instead of just playing around.
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