Suddenly I'm Proud

Going through Boot Camp for the AF, I was never really proud of myself. It's tough to be proud of something that so many people have done before you (and will do after you). I always thought that the pride you'd feel about being a part of the AF or the military in general comes after some great deed you did, when people come up to you and thank you for saving their lives or when you get some hard-to-achieve medal pinned to your chest. You know, when you become a hero.

And being part of such a great military it is tough to shine in comparison to the other fine members so I was never really proud of myself. Especially about being a flier. Less than two percent of the enlisted AF actually fly and I'm in the percentage but it isn't really something I've been proud of. There is a LOT of stuff that comes with being a flier that I do not like, but have to put up with. Just like any other job, I guess. We aircrew were taught from the very beginning that we're the best, the absolute best because we're the guys that the guys on the ground call when they need help. Maybe so, I thought, but that doesn't make me the best, it just means it is my butt in the seat and it could really be anyone's butt in the seat. It doesn't have to be me. I was not actively sought out to be what I am and to do what I do.

So going through the military like I'm doing, I never once said I'm proud of myself because honestly, I'm not. I'm not even proud of myself now, even as I write this blog.

But I am proud to be aircrew. Not obscenely proud or anything, I'm not shoving it in anyone's face thinking I'm better than them (I'm not). I'm just proud to be part of this little organization.

It came from going to the air museum. Let's get it right out in the open: I find planes incredibly boring. I don't care what model this is, or how far that one can fly, or what loads that one can carry, I really don't. It's just not interesting to me. But seeing the sea of flying jackets they have on display there really hit home for some reason. They were all worn, cracked with age and abuse, painted and faded from the years, sewn up with patches and equipped with all sorts of pins. Morale is what I was looking at. It made me wonder if there is any current guidance on the leather jacket.

I think (I say this of course, before finding out if there IS any guidance) that to get rid of the capability to do this to your jacket, to make it yours to show your pride in whatever you're doing or have done is a horrible thing. That is the AF to me. My entire belief in the AF is summed up in a couple of jackets and it's all right there and nowhere else. I don't look at the blues and feel the same way, nor the flight suit. I don't look at well manicured bases and think about how great it is to be able to say I'm a part of this, no matter how long I'm going to be a part of it. Everything good about the AF is right there, in the worn, faded, painted jackets from an era not too long ago.