...Poor Thing

I want to be serious for a second here.

I know of a man - a poor man - who is not poor financially. He seems to have all the means in the world. He is poor in that he suffers from a paranoia that is unique in that it's real. He has a real reason to be paranoid because his demons are in fact after him. Poor guy. And the guy, the poor guy, the brave guy, tries to get himself help. He actually tries to get away from his personal demons, to live a normal life but demons - as they are known to do - just won't leave him alone.

Do you feel for this guy?

I speak of course of the bird from Cocoa Puffs.

And you know what? Why can't the rabbit have any Trix? Are we TRYING to teach selfishness to our kids? Trix isn't the only cereal trying to teach this. Look at Fruity Pebbles. Barney, Fred's BEST FRIEND, can't have some of his cereal?

And where is the criminals from Cookie Crisp? Parents are cool with teaching their kids not to share but they don't want escaped convicts endorsing their kids' cereal?! Who's this wolf they're parading out there now? What does he have to do with Cookie Crisp?

And when will Lucky Charms realize that (besides my wife) no one in the world likes the stuff that isn't marshmallows?