Sometimes....

When you have a child you lose almost everything that had made you you. You're now a role model, a teacher and if you're worth anything at all, you aim to be the best you can. You give up any dreams you might have had of traveling abroad having adventures, not being tied down and basically living the life you thought you'd have when you were in college or high school, all because you want to provide the best surroundings, the most stable surroundings for your child.

At least, I do.

But when I was a kid I saw how miserable my dad was with his job and hoped that I would never have to be like that. He wasn't a happy man. He doesn't strike me as the happiest now, either even though his life has changed radically since I was a child.

Now here I am, providing stable surroundings and trying to be the best dad possible but I feel like... like I'm not doing it right. Like there's something I'm missing. I don't think I'm a failure, but I feel like it.

I feel awful.

Right now.

I don't know, right now it seems like the only thing that makes life worth it is my little girl and I'm losing touch with myself little by little. I lie all the time, or exaggerate, but what's that but lying really? I do it all the time because I don't think my life is that interesting to begin with. I see people's eyes drift off and in order to pull them back in, to get some attention, I start blowing things up.

Sometimes their eyes don't wander and I do it anyway because the story's not that interesting to me. What does that say about me? That I don't even interest myself. I'm left alone so often except by two people at work. I think they come around only because they're bored.

I just feel worthless and I wonder if my dad felt the same way when I was growing up. Did he feel like he was failing little by little because he couldn't find something, SOMETHING that would help him in his quest for something he didn't even know he was looking for? I wonder why he couldn't have kept a journal growing up, all through his life explaining his rationale for certain events, laying out his feelings like he never did verbally. It could really be a help, I bet.

I just can't seem to get a grip on what's going on.

*sigh*

Oh, The Quirks!

My iPod is in a state of degeneration. This isn’t really a bad thing, really. When I was a teen we were evicted from our house not because we were in the wrong but because the house was so dilapidated (military housing. Go figure). This was also not a bad thing because the move let me get to know my wife and when ti rained it no longer rained INSIDE.

Anyway, I’d go by the old neighborhood, now wrapped in chain link fence and watch nature take back what was once its own. Grass got longer, then weeds, then bushes, etc. It was fun to watch.

And it is fun to see what is happening to my iPod. Originally the battery died and once I replaced it it worked fine, but then the screen started not working. I found that if I squeezed the sides together really hard the screen would work, so that problem is fixed. Now it’s randomly pausing which is always fun. I think “is this a silent part of the song?” Then I look. Nope, just paused. Well, then I feel like a douche since apparently I don’t know my own music.

But as far as the life goes, it’s lasting quite some time. Longer than I ever expected it to considering the moves, the jolts, the relocations, the absence of use, the ridiculous amount of use at times, etc. Even at its original ridiculous price (500.00 four years ago) it’s coming out to be something like 34 cents a day and dropping. That isn’t bad at all. And there are no moving parts, no clickable buttons. Everything is touch sensitive with dedicated “buttons” in a line above the scroll wheel. This is their smartest design to date, in my opinion.

So kudos to Apple for totally screwing me out of the opportunity to get a new iTouch.

Meanwhile, in iTunes land, Genius is… well… Genius. I love it. I clicked on a few songs I liked, clicked the genius button, it made a playlist of fifty and most of the songs work well together with only a few exceptions (but how is iTunes supposed to know I don’t like a song?). Great stuff. I love seeing what a machine thinks I’ll like and a little scared at how accurate it is.

So in summary, there’s really great stuff with iTunes and iPods now and I’m excited to update, but for right now, that looks like a ways off. Like I said though, kudos to Apple for making such a long lasting product!

I will say that those of you out there who don't care about the updates but are looking to get an iPod on the cheap should go out now to Best Buy or the like (BB is the cheapest place I've found) where they are blowing out their inventory of iPods for really good prices. 80 gb iPod Classics for 200.00. That's the same cost as an old 8 gb nano or a new 16 gb nano and you get a bigger screen and more storage space.

Blue Monday

Ah, Mondays.

The bane of some people’s existence, but to me it’s the day furthest away from the next time my least favorite day comes around (Sunday). I do think Mondays should be half days though in order to ease you back into the work week (except for guitar stores that must remain open all day since most are closed on Sundays) and to make you feel a lot better about the fact that you’re wasting your life away from your family and the things that matter just so you can afford to eat. I tell you, sometimes I think it would be so much sweeter to be a wild man, but then I think that I’m nuts. Civilized life is sweet.

But there are a couple of things about Monday that really upset me:

Football fans.

They spent all Sunday watching football and soaking it in, soaking it all in, remembering their favorite and least favorite plays so on Monday they can come to work and talk (loudly) about how great this was, how much this sucked, how many yards were run by X and how they couldn’t believe Y caught such a sub-par throw. I am not interested and it’s distracting, honestly. You know the Bose commercial for their noise-canceling headphones where it says “concentrate on work?” That’s what I need. I need everyone to leave me alone and just email me their work requests. I can listen to music or even my study guide and do the work completely oblivious to football.

And what gets me going MOST about it is that most of the people that sit around every Monday and talk about how great the games were (because they all watched the same games) is that there is a way to avoid this that might be even more enjoyable than meeting on Monday and gabbing like sorority girls piecing together and recreating the previous night’s drunken exploits. I say this: watch them together. I’m sure someone has a garage where they can put a TV (if there isn’t one in there already) and they can all come over with coolers full of beer, get sloppy drunk, watch the big games yelling and screaming at the TV, braiding each other’s hair, dropping hot wax into cold water to see the face of next year’s wide receiver, whatever they do.

Then on Monday they can all come in, hung over and nod quietly to their cohorts as they shield their eyes from the harsh glare from the ceiling lights.

Mondays might suck for them, but you can bet by Friday they’ll be talking about how much fun Sunday’s going to be.

Another pet peeve:

Co workers. Not all coworkers, mind you, but the ones that ask you to do something on Friday and then on Monday morning ask if you’ve done it. As if they were the only ones with a weekend and think that maybe you live in the nook under your desk and use your computer as a space heater. Mmmm, I live to work, so much so I shirk away from going home to wife, daughter and potential relaxation in order to stay at work and try to call people who might be of the same mind set as me to get whatever you need, done.

Overall, I don’t mind Mondays at all, but football fans and annoying co workers upset me.

So How Big Is A Bushel Exactly?

Greetings, folks! Because Blogger (for some reason) does not put the last uploaded pictures UNDER the ones you had uploaded previously, we're going to do this in reverse. I'll just explain everything and TRY not to give anything away. !slkof ,stlebtaes ruoy elkcuB

Ah, what a great weekend. Everyone's tuckered out but there's still a pretty lengthy drive home to make. Just so everyone knows, there's a "scenic point" on 515 on the way to Ellijay. Don't stop, unless it's the dead of winter and everything is dead because that would be the only time that the vegetation wouldn't block your view. Basically, we woke Annie up to walk around for two minutes and get back in the car. They're still smarter than Middle Georgians though.
Now... This is a good story. We went to an apple farm (there's a million of them near Ellijay) and wanted to pick apples. I hate to admit it but can't tell a ripe apple from a non ripe apple when it's on the tree. That's the city in me, I guess. I know not to pick them off the ground though. Anyway, you pay the entrance fee to the orchard and you can pick the bag you want to take in with you. The choices are 1/2 pick, pick, and 1/2 bushel. While standing at the counter, you can turn around and look at bags of apples that have already been picked in sizes that match your options so you can say Jeez, there's no way I need a 1/2 bushel or even a pick. I'd probably be satisfied with the cheaper 1/2 pick bag. Kim did not do this though. She thought I gestured to the biggest bag while I was saying "pick the bag you want to get," (Maybe she thought I didn't want to look like an apple addict to the woman at the counter) and she picked the 1/2 bushel. We didn't' even fill it all the way and it's as big as Annie. I knew no one would believe it, so I took this picture. Just call Kimmy Kimberlee Buschel Southard. Heh heh.

When I was a kid, I read my history books and there was this one picture from the gas crisis of '79 (I believe) that had a line of cars that was going on for a mile or longer and cops were there to keep control, and citizens had not only their cars to fill, but gas cans in their hands too. From what I understand, we grabbed the auto manufacturers by the balls and said no more. We wanted fuel efficient cars which apparently meant smaller cars. But over time gas got cheaper, and we were "seduced by horsepower" as a friend described it. And now look at this.

I never in my life thought I would be waiting in line for gas and thinking that they just might run out of gas by the time I got to the pump and have that thought be a serious one. I never thought I might be stranded in a strange town because there was no gas for X amount of days and how is this going to effect my life and work? While in Ellijay though, there was only one gas station that had gas and the only reason they had gas was because they were getting filled right then. There was a line. Not as long as the line we saw in Woodstock, GA, but a long line and there was a lot of patience involved on everyone's part.

Let me say right now that I am proud of every single person there. There was no yelling, no horn honking, everyone was very patient and very accommodating. As an example: in order to not block the road (the actual road next to the station) I had to pull up close to the person who was in line for gas but this blocked a person who had just gotten done pumping who was going the other way. So I reversed, then pulled up BESIDE the guy who was in line to pump before I was and then when the person who was looking to exit took their leave, I reversed again and resumed my position. The people behind me didn't try to cut in and took the same cue as I did. Even when the tank was on the side opposite 99% of the other cars there, there was very little friction and one guy took it upon himself to guide folks so that neither of the cars who were facing each other hit each other. It worked out and to the citizens of Ellijay I say that even though your town is absolutely beautiful, the kind of town I would move to in an instant, THIS is what impressed me the most.

Kudos.

Annie got to sleep between Mom and Dad which meant that when SHE went to bed at 6:00 at night the lights had to go off and there would be no journal time. That's fine and all, but it was tough for all three of us because Annie knew we were awake and we knew she was awake and we just wanted her to sleep and she probably wanted us to leave the room so she could sleep.

Sorry, sweetie.
Annie picking apples. She has developed a habit of finding a rock, any rock really, and holding onto it as long as she can. I don't mind, just so long as she keeps it out of her mouth, but I just think it's cute.
That's us in the orchard. Annie was tired and the grass was too long for her to walk in so I had to carry her most of the time (not that I'm not trained to do so. I have developed the parent stance and have discovered a masculine form of hips for Annie to rest on. I'm... not really sure how to feel about this). You'll notice the huge bag full of invisible apples amongst the five or so that was picked. That was all that was picked by us.:-)
I was not able to get this cow to come close for Annie. It just wouldn't do it. But Annie laughed and moo'd (she actually moo'd to the cow and baa'ed to the goats) and the cow came over. Apparently Annie can talk to the animals and has developed a bovine friend.

This was waiting for us in the hotel we stayed at (the one in Ellijay and a very nice stay if you're ever in the town. Very friendly folks there.
My view. The hotel seemed not to have that many guests and we had asked for a room with a view when we booked the hotel online. Instead of putting us on the front side, with a beautiful panorama of the mountain tops we got to watch this guy do whatever he's doing. Am I bummed? Not AT ALL. We didn't spend too much time there anyway.

I will say that while there, I planned on going to a local's favorite restaurant, but because of the gas I didn't feel like trying to find it and then it was getting to be Annie's bedtime so we had to get delivery and the options were Dominos and Pizza King. We chose Pizza King not only because I have fond memories of it as a kid, but because they don't have it in Warner Robins so there's at least a little bit of interesting there.

Annie has shown another trait of her dad's. She is a knob turner. When I play guitar I'm always messing with the knobs on my guitar and amp. I can't help it. I'm never completely satisfied which is why I'm happy when they strip away my options leaving me with just my fingers and a pick.

Annie found the temperature controls in the room and went to turning and while I might expect a kid to turn knobs and enjoy it, she started DANCING to turning knobs and bobbing her head to a beat all her own and was visibly excited to be doing this. I honestly think she spent all night dreaming of turning the knobs in the morning.

I, uh, ate Cooter Chili. Honestly, who could turn down an invitation to try such a thing? And let me say (I mean no disrespect) that while they may have won people's choice awards many times, I was not impressed in the least. It was actually one of my least favorite chili's.
This was Annie trying to go down and Kim wanting to get a cute picture of her.


Annie in her car seat. She's so freaking awesome.
OK, we went to the chili cook off at Stone Mountain (same place as the crafts fair earlier). 10 bucks at the door and you get to sample more than 300 different kinds of chili and vote for your favorite. They put the chili in these tiny plastic glasses, like little shot glasses and some booths gave spoons, but honestly, after a couple booths, you have a stack of cups in your hand and you're just waiting for the next trash can to come up so you can unload. You also (probably) have a beer in your hand (they seemed far more available than diet Coke) so a few spoons isn't welcome. Just open your mouth and put it down.
Like that.

The chili was actually very not impressive. I like Kim's better than most of the ones there which makes me think we should enter this next year. But maybe I'm messed up because my favorite didn't seem to have any votes in her box and the people's choice was gross. Do I not know what's good? I don't think so. Honestly I think the people's choice won because of their name. A bunch of drunks must have thought it was funny and put their votes in the box.

Speaking of the chili, I was surprised by how few had any spice to them. Maybe they were playing to a wider crowd. I don't even like spicy stuff and wasn't taken aback by the chilis that say "hell chili" or whatever. "Flaming hot chili that'll rip your throat out." It might have been hot for a while, but it went away pretty quick too.

The cook off was attached to a concert too. One band played John Mellencamp songs (I'm a fan of the Rain on the Scarecrow and Dance Naked CDs) and one played AC/DC songs. The John Mellencamp band was pretty good from what I heard and the AC/DC band seemed to be pretty good. Of course they had their own Angus up there, hopping around. I've always been a fan of theatrics so I enjoyed it but I discovered a disturbing trend at shows:

The sound men who control the volume are deaf.

I know, that probably sounds weird. I mean, you don't hire blind folks to direct traffic, so why a deaf guy to control the volume?

And they might not have started out deaf but by the constant shows they controlled, their hearing MUST have gone because they keep turning everything up. Musicians are no better either. I'm not saying it should be background music, but at 100 yards away from the nearest speaker I should not have to yell at my wife and leave because it's too damn loud for my daughter. That's what happened too. Annie was digging it, I was digging it, Kim was getting a HUGE kick out of watching a fat drunk guy dance even between the songs but the second they turned it up too loud and didn't turn it back down, we were out of there.

Music's too precious to me and seems to be treated the same by Annie for her to develop hearing damage because some jackass doesn't know what's too loud and what's not.

This is a wench. No, really. She was very nice too. I asked if we could get on her pirate ship and pose for a picture and she happily obliged. She didn't have to, but she did and I was grateful. I mean, check out this picture! Annie seems fascinated with her necklace, too.

On the way up to Ellijay we stopped by Woodstock, GA for some food (I was hungry even after all that chili) and we saw this Waffle House. It wins the award for most classy Waffle House I've ever seen. Kudos WH!

And that's our trip. Ellijay is beautiful, the chili at Stone Mountain was great, and that's one more adventure down. Kim and I are determined to see more of this state and enjoy it to the greatest extent because this town... It's horrible. But please, don't think that just because Warner Robins is like the finger system coming out of a house (google THAT) you should never visit the state. You should. But keep in mind that the closer you get to the middle, the heavier gravity gets and colors will start to fade. It's like a toilet, honestly. On the edges you're fine, but the closer you get to middle the more likely you're going to end up in a shitty area.

It's Been A While

I've actually written many a blog, but have been hesitant to post them. They just didn't seem good enough.

But this one's different. While it might not be good, it is a statement that soon you will be able to see more cute pictures of Annie and the increasingly liked Georgia.

Just to let you know, anything worth while is at least 45 minutes away, so these little adventures that look so good on film and pictures with scenery that make you think "Georgia isn't so bad" is all not located here in town.

This town sucks, plain and simple, but we're trying to tae advantage of the STATE and I don't think the entire state should be shunned just because its "international city" is lame lame lame.

I'm sure at least some of you out there will dig it.

Until later!

The Dunce Award Goes To Colleges (Macon State College)

Confession time: When I went to college I attended a semester and passed all of my classes. Wasn't too tough or anything, but during that semester I found a second job and got wrapped up in trying to have enough money to eat and go to school and was so worn out from the constant work that I didn't really go to class the next semester. Or the year that followed.

I did a horrible job with college. But you know what? They still got paid.

I didn't go to a single class my last semester there and they still got their money and it was just like someone DID go to class except there was no one in the seat and they failed. Not a big deal financially since them getting their money was not dependent on my attendance or the final grade I received.

But now some colleges are saying that if you miss four classes you automatically get an F. Four. Four out of more than 24. I can say that this isn't so unreasonable if you're dealing with healthy kids straight out of high school but there is also a rising upswing of adults that are attending college now. Moms and dads in their late twenties, thirties, forties and on. Everyone needs an education and should be able to get one if they pay for it.

Because they're PAYING for it. All the college has to do is supply the opportunity for the student to go to class by having that class go on as planned. That's it.

Before I became a dad I didn't get sick very much. Now, I get sick all the time. My beautiful baby girl gets sick all the time and no matter how often I get sick from her she seems to find new germs to bring home that my body either can't defend itself against or hasn't had the luxury of previous defence and immunity.

Basically, I'm dying.

But Kim's even worse because she's going to school right now and with Annie getting sick that means she can't go to daycare which means my wife has to stay home with a sick baby (or by then she's sick herself) and miss school. Since my daughter gets sick about oh, every two or three weeks odds are pretty great Kim's going to surpass that four absence rule.

Applause to the college (sarcastic clap here) for being stupid enough to consider such a ccccrrrraaaaazzzzzyyyy situation as a parent trying to go to school to make a better life for their family. I'll tell you right now, when I start going back to school (which shouldn't be too much longer) and someone tries that crap with me, we'll see what happens. I'm not afraid to call bull and if someone caught wind of a ridiculous rule like this and a student that failed because the night prior their little girl was so sick she couldn't sleep so as her dad was holding her on the couch and soothing her she puked all over him (all OVER him!!!) and couldn't go to daycare the next day, I'm sure someone would be interested.

It's absolutely ridiculous.

Quite Possibly A Dream

When I was a child I experienced something that was awesome, so awesome that even though I've gone there a couple of times I still to this day can't shake the feeling that I dreamt it all those times, that such a place doesn't really exist.

Somewhere in Indiana, I don't know where is something like a zoo. I don't think it's really a zoo but a wildlife refuge where animals that can't be released back into the wild are kept. A good example of this (because we went to one today here in Georgia) was a hawk we saw today with one wing. Obviously it wouldn't last long in the wild though it probably would put up a hell of a fight. Anyway, this zoo (for brevity's sake) is very interesting, full of animals that you don't mind looking at. Today we heard someone say that it's only a raccoon in one of the cages and they moved on. Didn't even pause to look. This struck me as sad somehow. I know raccoons are commonplace, when I was in college I would watch them crawl out of trash cans in the middle of the night, but that doesn't mean they aren't special.

Everything is special.

Moving on though, after the animals it somehow broke off into a small amusement parks, complete with small roller coaster, not much more than what is intended for small children. You usually see them at county fairs and the cars are usually caterpillars. There are the usual suspects like teacups and all that too.

Then it breaks into a water park.

If this place does exist it would be best to take a taxi there and back because you have in your grasp a full day's events. You'd probably be so worn out by the end of it that you would need that taxi back or you'd fall asleep behind the wheel.

Could such a place exist or did my overactive imagination just make it up?

I think it exists and when I find out where it is, I'll let you all know where it is.

Guitar Giveaways

I'm a fan of Slipknot. I'd say I'm one of two people I know that actually enjoys the band. They're too heavy for most of the people I hang out with.

While deployed I saw that they were giving away Jim Root's entire rig (save amp) and I was impressed. This is a Fender Jim Root Tele, strings, and I think five pedals. Kudos to whoever won it. I registered but I guess I wasn't picked.

And while I want the Jim Root tele for metal madness and pedals to have, to try out, (at least two of them would have stuck around) I was more impressed by the size of the giveaway and the fact that this is probably what he really uses. The only way they seemed to pull any punches was by not including his amp, and Orange Rockerverb, but maybe that has more to do with Orange than Slipknot.

By the way, the Orange Rockerverb is a great amp for metal. I think the gain rivals Mesa Boogie and sounds more... alive. It has more soul. I'd buy one in a heartbeat if I was looking for a metal amp. I tried one out in Tucson and I thought it was going to blow up but I think that might have been my fault. Maybe I plugged it into the wrong cab. I did feel like it was going to blow up and I was literally going to die though.

Anyway, I saw Guitar World is giving away Mick Thompson's set up now, too, except... there are more pulled punches. You get his signature guitar, but you get the cheap version, not the version he would actually use. You get a pair of pickups (because you'll need to swap out the ones in his cheaper sig for ones he actually uses), a strobe tuner (not the one that was in his rack which looked like a Boss Chromatic and you get his amp CABINET but not the actual amp. No pedals.

That sounds like that's not his rig at all.

But even so, it's way better than the usual "we had them sign this Squier Strat so you can win it!" deal.

So kudos for the effort. but if you're going to go all out, go all out.

I Sway Like The Reeds

I listen to the Penny Arcade Podcast. It’s one of my favorites. But lately because of computer problems I haven’t been able to stay up to date. That and when exactly am I going to listen to it? I don’t really like listening to my iPod when I’m awake and with Kim because I like spending time with her and I’m not going to listen to it when Annie’s awake because I don’t see her enough as it is what with work and her early bedtime. I wont’ listen to it when I’m going to sleep because I’ll no doubt miss the end. It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

So at lunch, when I usually stay in the office I listen to podcasts. You never know what’s going to be featured so it’s always best to listen to it when manning is at a minimum. I was in the mood for something I had never heard before so I listened to Sarcastic Gamer’s podcast and loved it. It made me want to get back into gaming. Honestly, I would trade or sell my Wii to get an Xbox 360 NOT because I don’t love the Wii but because I think Nintendo is a tricky bastard in their business techniques.

I have to keep the Wii of course because of the few games on it I really enjoy but honestly, I have more fun with the 360. I could probably get Kim to play with me on the 360, though what game that would be I don’t know. She’s not big into shooters (neither am I but GOW is pretty amazing), but I’m sure there’s something out there we can play together. And we could sit on the couch and not move around so much. Even though it’s fun for a while, sometimes you just want to play games and relax, not work up a sweat practicing your boxing moves. It’s also a ton easier to turn on and off. What a trivial thing, I know but when you can turn it off and not have to worry about also turning off the wireless sensor, life is sweet. A lot of batteries die because a house occupant forgets to turn it off.

Relaxing...

Not Relaxing.

But anyway, the point of all of this is two days ago I was ready to never push the power button on the Wii and now I’m itching to buy a whole new console (and one more game for the Wii). I’m easily swayable.

I know what I want to buy when I come back from my next deployment! Something 2/3 of the family could really enjoy!

Hm...

It's almost a guarantee that when you step up to write a blog without any thought about what it may be about it'll turn out to be something special.

For me, there will probably be tangents, mucho tangents, and the train of thoughts might not flow together so well, but that's the price of spontaneity.

In an effort to ease you, the reader's, pain I've thought for about three seconds and will write about one topic, musical catalogs. I'll also interject random (or not so random) picture of guitars to keep you visually stimulated so maybe you won't become bored. Kim, you don't have to read this since it's about music.

Kim gets bored with my constant ramblings about music.

Now then. On with the wreck of a blog:

I should say the new MF, specifically. Last year around Christmas they sent out a big catalog for the holidays with big pictures of guitars. My problem with it was that the guitars were the same guitars they've been featuring for the last year, just with a bigger picture.

But I am not one to sit and complain to myself or just to counterparts and friends. I believe in constructive criticism and emailed them and said that while it certainly emphasized a "special" issue, it was the usual suspects we've seen forever. Why not spice it up? Even if you kept the same sized pictures and just put more guitars in it, it would have been an improvement.

Now there are those that might say that they put the usual suspects in there because the usual suspects sell, to which I ask "How will anything else sell if the potential buyer never sees it?"

I think as far as the holiday issue goes, it should be mailed out in September and be THICK. I'm not expecting over 5,000 pictures of guitars but a lot can be fit in a thick catalog in ANY field that they want to work whether it's guitars, pedals, basses, amps, accessories, etc. etc. By giving the buyer more of a selection you are upping the odds that they will find what they want or something that best suits them causing them to buy said item. You drive up your sales by offering more of a variety.

I would also emphasize (heavily) more reviews on MF's website which would mean someone would have to review a lot of guitars.

I know, I know. There are already reviews of guitars on the site. True. But they're done by faceless people out there on the Internet and you run into statements like "My best friend owns one and I played it once. I thought it sucked compared to my guitar. He should have gotten one like mine. You should get one like mine." You see stupid stuff all the time and while it is nice to see a wealth of amateur reviews, it would be not only nice but SMART to hire a person to review guitars. That's their job. Hire a team of thirty, and when you get a guitar in, set it up, let them review it, attach the review to the web page with the model and see what happens. A professional, with a face and maybe even an e-mail address would have his review up there to satisfy moms and dads, and potential buyers.

How about a buyer's guide on-line? How about, based on the reviews, you were to ask questions that get more and more specific and end up with a selection of, say, ten guitars that would probably suit the bill of your wants. Maybe something like this:

Favorite music: (clickable) classic rock, hard rock, heavy metal, country, acoustic, bluegrass, finger style, etc.

Favorite body shape: Les Paul, Stratocaster, Telecaster, Explorer, Flying V, M, etc. etc.

Favorite pickup style: Humbucking, Single coil.

Favorite pickup power: Passive, active.

Favorite body wood: Maple, Alder, Mahogany, Ash, etc.

Now, obviously these questions would get very specific and would require an explanation to go along with it. Mahogany has a very warm tone to it that sounds darker when driven and is heard on such examples as Godsmack's first album, etc. as a form of guidance.

Those are a couple of my ideas for them.

The newest issue opens up with a two page spread showing a ton of guitars including 62 strat style guitars, 16 Le Pauls, 16 Telecasters, etc. etc. and I thought awesome. They're knocking out the usual suspects in one fell swoop and is going to present the audience with something a bit different.

Nope.

Actually they went the other way where they not only didn't show you anything new, but also took away the information attached to the usual suspects! And the guitar section was a mere six pages.

Booooooo.

It is a free catalog so I can't complain too much but it seems like they could do SO much better. Look at Elderly's catalog! That's how it should be!

In my idea box for MF is also a specialized issue going out every two or three months. One time it'll be nothing but guitars, the next it'll be bass, then drums, then stage stuff, then recording stuff.

Instead of trying to offer everyone a little of something and leaving them hungry for more (much more), let's binge!

C'mon MF! You can do it! The potential is there! You can have any of my ideas for free. Feel free to take them, use them and see what happens. I'm sure it'll help out sales even in these trying times.

Annie's Birthday!

These are a little mixed up so bear with me: This is the one year money shot. Face full of cake, totally happy about what's going on.

This is me after getting the living room ready for Annie's birthday party while she was napping. As you can tell, I was only mildly excited.

Annie with her new doll. She seems to dig it but there's something she loved even more.

DRUMS!!! Oh, how she loves the drums. She walks around with the sticks and is constantly beating on the drums. She hasn't mastered how exactly to hit them so right now it's more like she's stabbing them, but still. I've never seen her put up such a fight when we had to leave.

The cake. Kim did a great job with a white cake and mixed fruit jello inside it. Tasted very tropical and turned out kind of pink which is what she was going for.

Whale sharks. From when we all went to the aquarium on the 12th for her actual birthday.

All Annie wanted to do was run around and meet strangers (and touch the fish).

During the party when she first discovered balloons.
Annie with the drums.

Annie's baby and rockhopper penguin.

Annie with her rockhopper at the penguin.
Looking up. We were in a tube looking up at the sharks and rays and all that.

They have this screen where all these fish are swimming and if you touch one you can get information about it. I touched one randomly and it turned out to be this. Fate?

The shark I touched.

This very Nemo looking creature is actually named Deepo and Annie didn't really know what to make of him but seemed to like him once we were around him for a bit. Me, I'm not a HUGE fan of costumed strangers touching me.

Annie in her birthday shirt. One candle on the cupcake!

Annie with the sharks and rays (the friendly ones).

Outside the whale slide. I guess we came out its mouth which means we went in... Oh. Oh god.

The little tunnels I was talking about. It gets smaller further inside.

I'm in the tunnel with Annie looking at Mommy through the water.

See? I promised lots of priceless pictures and look. I delivered. Hope you liked them!

We're Gonna Need A Bigger Fear

Timidly, like a child I approached the tank. The tank, filled with water and untold horrors and revolting ends that awaited me. Slowly I walked - almost crept - up to the tank. This was it. One huge fear of mine was about to be demolished because some guy who makes minimum wage told me it was OK.

I was trusting this guy, who I had never met and who didn't really look all the trustworthy with his shifty eyes and maniacal grin. I trusted him because I was stupid - am stupid.

But I'm not stupid enough to not be here to write this blog.

I'm terrified, absolutely terrified of two things: snakes and sharks.

Today I touched a shark.

With absolutely no exaggeration it looked like this:

Alright, maybe it wasn't a great white shark. But it was a shark and I touched him! The shark, a family member connected with the hammerhead (this one had a hammerhead but it was smaller, more like a fisher-price hammer head) was about three and a half feet long. Now, this might not conjure up terrifying images or death scenarios, but let me say it had teeth and if you were actually IN the tank it would probably freak you out as anything that has sharp teeth and is in their natural environment when you are NOT would.

A diver once told me life is great on land and once you go in the water you drop significantly on the food chain.

I believe him.

Sharks are terrifying. But I touched one today and it was awesome. I also touched a stingray (didn't puncture my heart, I'm pleased to say). They feel considerably different.

Today was Annie's first birthday and we went to the Atlanta aquarium for it. Annie's never been to the aquarium and apparently neither has Kim (they didn't have them in her time and the moisture is bad for her mummy gauze) and she (Annie) had a blast. She loved the fish, we went down the whale slide, she tried to touch the stingrays which were awesome. Very dog-like. The stingrays, not Annie. They would come up to the side of the tank and actually come up TO get pet. They liked it. They would wag their sides like happy puppy dogs.

There were all sorts of tunnels for Annie to run through and it was my job to go into these tunnels with her. It was tight. And the displays were too high for her to ride in her stroller so I had to carry her most of the time. I didn't mind, but by the end of the display I was hot, tired and frankly a bit sweaty. I NEVER understand why aquariums are so hot. I mean, there arne't any windows, it's usually pretty dark, and it looks like it should be pleasantly cold. Refreshing anyway.

Annie was getting a bit fussy in the middle of it and while my parents were indisposed Kim, Annie and I went to a gift shop there (they have two) and Annie fell in love with a toy rockhopper penguin (I'm showing off my NZ fourth grade public education by differentiating the penguin species). Oh man, she loved it.

But there were problems. Kim's camera stopped working right. Hm. But we'll upload the photos and see which ones turned out and I'll post them here, no worries. You'll see them.

Come back, there will be all the cute pictures you could stand!

1984: Corrupt To The Bones (Spoiler Alert)

I was reading 1984 during my lunch break yesterday and hit a speed bump of the mind.

The protagonist, Winston, meets a girl, a dark haired girl who had seen before, thought to be a member of the Thought Police and wanted to violently rape before crushing her skull in with a cobblestone (pretty graphic, huh?) but the girl gave him a note that said she loved him.

This changes EVERYTHING and eventually they find a hide out and make love.

He asked her if she had done it before. Scores of times, she replies. She even says that it might be hundreds of times, with other people. He was glad.

Says Winston: “I hate purity. I hate goodness. I don’t want any virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones.” He later went on to say “The more men you’ve had, the more I love you.”

This is completely unlike anything else I’ve EVER read where the standard is so standard that my brain had never even thought of something different. The fact that they were in love meant nothing when it came to this because there’s more than just love here, this is a revolution. A protest. And while you could say you’re protesting something by sleeping with someone will you ever try to build a relationship on such a foundation? It is so against everything I’ve ever been told that it blew my mind. It’s something that needed to be meditated on. This whole book is something that needs to be read slowly so you catch everything and really think about it since (I swear) it seems like it’s so close.

The iPod Nano And Why It's Cool

Besides the obvious greatness that is a tall iPod Nano with more color choices (finally! Purple!) there’s a ton of improvements that it seems not everyone is impressed with.

And honestly, I think this is just a case of people expecting too much. I think they were expecting a smaller iPod Touch or maybe an iPhone with all the perks and doo dads crammed into a smaller device. Perhaps this is because Apple makes such crazy progress that they thought Apple should be able to make a miracle device that somehow caters to everyone’s individual needs (but I also think no one cares what everyone ELSE wants just so long as they get what THEY want).

But I’m not here to talk about that (primarily, anyway). I’m here to talk about the progress that DID happen. First and foremost is the “bigger” screen which isn’t really bigger than the screen on the current Nano but turned on its side. Personally, I have no problem with this. I like it, actually. I would not like it if the Nano didn’t have an accelerometer now though. This way, when the Nano is right side up you can see the album artwork cover the screen, which looks awesome, and when you turn it on its side it’ll go to cover flow mode and you can scroll through with the wheel which I also like because it means less fingers messing up the screen.

You also have the genius feature which, honestly I haven’t wrapped my head completely around. I mean, I just synced up my iPod to my new computer which meant that all of the music data that I HAD stored on my iPod was deleted and replaced with the exact same data on my new computer since I put all the music on it before I plugged my iPod in. This means that all of my play counts were lost. But if I had all of my play count data on it, I could see how if I wanted to make a genius playlist using the song Guitar Boogie as the base song it would make a playlist of all the most starred, or most played songs for me. The way it was described to me was this: “It’s like shuffle, but with a brain.” That is pretty cool. I’m always interested in what a computer would think is up my alley.

There’s also the shake feature which is the only thing I’m not too keen on. You shake the actual iPod to shuffle to a different song. To me, the less shaking the better. I mean, it is a piece of machinery. I think the memory is flash based which would mean it’s less fragile than an actual hard drive but come on. This is the only part that seems more like a novelty than an actual benefit. Right now, my iPod is sitting on top of my tower next to my leg and if a song comes on I don’t want to hear I just push next, which I’m sure I could do on the Nano, but just the fact that they think actually shaking it to change the song seems a bit of a reach, more of a “look what we can do,” and less of a “you’re going to love this.”

Anyway, how about the battery life? 24 hours of music. That is awesome and will be oh so beneficial in the desert whenever I deploy. I love long battery life, especially considering that my current iPod has trouble getting through a normal work day.

And what about the colors? Man, this is how Nintendo should release their stuff! I dig the fact hat the color is all around the body too instead of the aluminum back which is way too easy to scratch.

The most important thing regarding the colors is the fact that the red iPod is the same price as the others. In case you don’t know, the red iPod is part of Bono’s Project Red and it used to cost more, supposedly because that extra amount of money will go to the cause. I’m glad to see Apple bite that bullet instead of me.

The price is pretty sweet too. The same prices as the old Nanos, but the upgraded capacity of 8gb as the smallest one for 150 and 16gb for 200 isn’t that much to ask for such a cool device.

Overall, I think it’s an amazing step forward for the Nano and want one before I head out to the desert again. 16gb would get me through my deployment, I would just need to plan my musical upload carefully.

I've Never Thought Shred Was This Interesting

When I think of shred guitar I think tight spandex pants and ridiculous hair. The guitar itself seems to take a back seat to the look, the flashing lights, and (oddly enough) the fans. If I can be crass and generalizing for just a second, I associate (and could be completely wrong here) 80’s with dirty guitar players and groupies. Both of which seems kind of wrong to me.

Anyway, folks like John 5 are out to change that image. He looks nothing like the guitar players of the 80s but is still pretty theatrical and his playing is varied enough that yesterday I listened to his entire album The Devil Knows My Name. It’s great stuff. If you’re interested at all in it, check out the song 27 Needles and listen to it the whole way through. There’s a great jazzy / ye olde country riff in there that will throw you off for a second but it’s so awesome you can’t help but love it. It’s got energy and can hold your attention and that’s why I recommend checking it out. Nowadays there aren’t enough guitarists out there that are just guitarists and musicians especially with his level of professionalism. He's very professional even if he doesn't look it. He understands that as a hired gun for different bands, the point is to make the singer look good, not to pimp his own stuff out to the world. As far as I know he doesn't drink or do drugs and before he became a touring musician he wanted to work in a studio instead so he could stay close to his family.

This is all very impressive to me.

If you like guitar music in any way, at least check out 27 Needles and see if you like it.

Let's Talk Comics

Going through my collection of comic books I felt pretty nostalgic for my youth.

Well, not my youth, but certainly my college days. I was reckless and ridiculously stupid, not going to class and therefore failing most of the classes and the effects of that mistake is felt to this very day. But I was also ridiculous with money. I didn't get my first credit card until I was a "sophomore" but even when I didn't have it, I was living paycheck to paycheck and if I had extra money I would find something to spend it on. A lot of times it was comic books or toys.

But toys took up too much space and comics are so easy to fall into. You can go backward and hunt down issues you don't have and put your name on the subscription sheet at the front of the shop to make sure any new issues are automatically pulled for you. It's easy for it to start off as one book and then it just slides into more and more.

And I'll tell you why. The blame lies in three places: Yourself (obviously) for buying them, the comic book company for doing any crossovers or releasing multiple variations of a particular issue (because how will you know which one will be worth more in the long run?), and finally Wizard magazine for inspiring such fanaticism. They hype up new books and it's easy to fall into it. And then there's always the hope that one day they'll make you rich.

Well, as far as my comic book collection goes, what I'm willing to sell and have put up for sale in various areas of the web, the value is 899.25. That's pretty high but not what I paid for them so obviously they go up in value. No one can really kick themselves for buying something and hoping it gets more valuable, we do it all the time. It is fun thinking that a thing that parents are always so quick to say "it'll never amount to anything" is actually gaining in value.

This is like a child's hobby that becomes an adult's portfolio.

I will say, however, that anything, anything in the world can be appraised at a certain value but is only worth what someone is willing to pay. That's kind of sad when you think about it.

Anyway, I kind of miss the old days of being reckless and stupid even if, given the opportunity to relive them again, I'd concentrate in school, attend class, get a better GPA and who knows where my life would have gone? I know that even if I still joined the military it would probably be as an officer and then I'd be making a killing financially.

Ah, life could have been so different. The funny thing is no one warned me about it. I was told throughout my life that there will be crazy sex and drunken parties at college, drugs will be so prominent you'll see the smoke rising from the cracks at the bottom of doors and it was my job to watch out for that. To not get caught up in that. Looking back, it seems so obvious not to get caught up in it. Even then, I didn't party very much at all, didn't drink until I was just about to leave college, never did drugs and fell into a trap of loving sleep way too much.

What a bummer.

But still, looking back at my comics still brings a smile to my face. I thinned down my collection from the ones I'm willing to sell and the ones I am not and the ones I am not is 18 thick. I proposed to my wife with a ring taped to the last page of a Silver Surfer comic. That one obviously stays with us. She had never in her life read a comic book so I took her to a shop when we first started dating to see if anything jumped out at her. Silver Surfer did, just because he looked cool and was an alien. The entire time we were dating (she even got a little bit into comics) she didn't read Silver Surfer so I bought her an issue for Valentine's Day and she seemed pretty pleased with it, thought it was really thoughtful to reach back the two years or so and remember that and then she found the ring.

Anyway, that's how I'm feeling right now. Nostalgic.

Pictures From Yesterday's Adventure

Fun In The Sun And The Greatest Job In The World

Yesterday was Kim's birthday! She turned 35 and looks great (for her age). Happy birthday to her! The date on the picture is wrong, by the way. That was actually taken in 2004.

When asked what she wants to do on her birthday she said she wanted to drive up to Atlanta, or Stone Mountain specifically and attend the Yellow Daisy Crafts Fair. It's the biggest in the nation so says the ads. I was game. I'm always game for crafts fairs. You can find some really cool stuff there AND some of the most interesting people too.

And Stone Mountain is beautiful. There's a lot of Georgia that is, especially in the North. On the way up to Helen, there are mountains you go up and down and little towns you wind through. If you're near a girl, they might be interested in the Cabbage Patch place they have there... I forget what they call them. Adoption centers? Anyway, the drive is beautiful, the land is beautiful up there and if someone said I had to live in Georgia for the rest of my life I'd either want to live in Decatur not far away from Atlanta but far enough away from it or near Helen. I don't know if I'd want to live IN Helen as it is very much a tourist reliant town.

Anyhoo, back to our adventure.

We left Warner Robins and she was driving. It's great to be the passenger. You get to look out the window and really pay attention to the scenery and relax. I'm already a liad back kind of guy and when I'm the passenger int he car, with the white noise of the engine and the highway and the low volume of the radio I can get pretty chill. Anyway, a friend of mine called while we were on the road and since we didn't have any directions it fell on me to know where we were going (there's no such thing as getting lost, more like finding places you didn't know existed) and because I was on the phone we missed our exit and almost drove into downtown Atlanta.

Which would not have been good.

But we turned around, got off at the correct exit and then felt our way to Stone Mountain.

Here's a fun fact: On the way to Stone Mountain from Warner Robins there is exactly ONE sign that advertises it and it is not a billboard with direction but merely a sign with the exti number maybe two miles from the exit. So you have this huge room for error in just going hoping there would be a sign. Kim says that it's a conspiracy between the US Government and Rand McNally.

But we found our way there, all the while Kim saying I ruined her birthday and exclaiming just how mad she is at the world for not putting up enough signs, for giving her a husband who was on the phone when he should have been helping out, for this jackass in front of her now sho's driving way too slow for her taste etc. etc.

She was wound up.

But the beauty of Stone Mountain calmed her down quickly. We parked and then made our way into the fair. When you first went in there were food places all over the place (more on food a little later), and a stage with a bluegrass band playing. Now, I'm not a huge fan of bluegrass but watching these guys play it was awesome. There was some SERIOUS musicianship and some amazing playing going on. I wanted to stay, would loved to have stayed to watch them but they finished their number and announced their last song was next. So I pulled Annie out of her stroller and plopped her on the ground to listen. She doesn't really like being carried around anymore. I mean, she might when the surroundings aren't familiar or she isn't comfortable but most of the time she's very independent-minded and WANTS DOWN. She loves to walk. So I put her down and she started to dance to bluegrass. She loves it. Absolutely loves it. I've never seen her into a genre before and she's into just about anything so long as there's a beat (and Kim says there needs to be a rocking guitar too). She started to pogo (that's my girl!) and the small crowd surrounding us adored her and the guys on stage must have seen her too. They didn't give any indication they did, but I bet they did. I bet they were either thinking about how much they love their kids or how much they want kids.

Annie has this almost mutant-like power on people.

But the song finished and we put her back in the stroller. I was super hungry. We had gone past all the food places and I was dying. But then, like hope itself, I saw a stand that advertised philly cheese steaks.

A little about me: I'm not huge into Philly Cheese Steak Sandwiches. They're good and all, but a little bit goes a long way and no one makes it quite like the angry guy at my college.

But I was hungry and here it was. So I payed the SEVEN dollars for a SANDWICH and nothing else, no chips, no soda, nothing but the sandwich and then it was handed to me. Apparently they think that shredded beef, a few strips of onion and NACHO cheese is satisfactory.

It isn't.

But I ate it. It was rough too. Messy as all get out.

And after that we were looking around the crafts fair looking at some amazing displays of craftiness. Glass blowers and painters, wood burners, belt makers, all sorts of cool stuff. And then you have people that went to Hobby Lobby and bought fabric and make pillow cases and was charging 10 bucks for one pillow case. This always happens though. It's no big deal.

I found this stall where peanut brittle was offered to me. I don't turn down peanut brittle. More importantly I don't turn down other kinds of brittle that I haven't tried. I'm a big fan of trying new things so when she offered pecan brittle and sunflower seed brittle, I was shoving people out of the way to try some. Both were very good and I would have bought them on the spot but she had to start her sales pitch about how it didn't have any butter or margarine in it. No fats or oils. No calories or cholesterol and all that stuff. Jokingly I asked what it DID have in it (meaning to say right after this "pure deliciousness?") and she cut me off saying corn syrup.

Yuck.

But I had talked to her and sampled her wares so I bought some pecan brittle and got the hell out of there before I was guilted into more.

I found some really awesome stuff there. REALLY awesome stuff that I'd buy in a HEARTBEAT if I had the cash.

We walked around for a while looking at everything. It really is a big fair and soon we were talking about moving back to the stage so Annie could dance some more.

We did, but what was a great bluegrass band was replaced by a country rock band that, you know, played country rock.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I kind of never want Annie to ever hear Carrie Underwood. I don't see how women are attaching themselves to her for "speaking the truth" when she's singing about destroying her boyfriend's car.

Side note: if that were to happen to me, I'd just take her to court and since she would have CARVED HER NAME in the seats, I doubt it would be a hard case to win.

Annie liked it though not as much as the bluegrass. The singer was commenting on how there were so many good dancers out there under the age of three. There were other kids running around dancing and whatnot and then we saw him.

The guy with the coolest job in the world.

There was a man, who worked for Stone Mountain, blowing bubbles for a living. Just entertaining the kids and honestly, how great of a job is that? You don't really have to interact with the kids because the kids are chasing the bubbles and when are the bubbles EVER going to come toward the person blowing them? The kids chase the bubbles AWAY from the blower.

Anyway, Annie was obsessed. She wanted down and she wanted to get in this huge bucket of bubble soap. We let her get down and walk around and all that. At first she didn't know what to do about the bubbles or the scores of bigger kids around her. She was content to stand on the fringes of the activity and watch but pretty soon the arms were up:

And she was having fun. That's my girl.

Good birthday.

Well, MySpace Doesn't Have THAT!

My genious wife showed me a way to check statistics for visitors to my page and I was pretty excited. I didn't expect much, only maybe two people to read my blog but apparently some other people have been reading it too and that's pretty cool. The statistics page even has a world map so I could see where they're looking from and my page visitors are coming from places like Minnesota, California, Arizona, a bunch in Florida and a couple here in Georgia. There are (or were anyway) readers in France, Germany and Greece.

This is pretty cool in my opinion, and an inspiration to write more often and include more awesomeness so I'm going to try and amp up my blog with more pictures, better writing and basically make it as good as it can be considering I'm sitting here writing it.

Please accept my humble thanks for the visits and inspiration.

1984

Seems that if Orville wanted thsi book to last he would have put it further in the future.

Ah well. How was he supposed to know we'd be here now? That was a long time ago when he wrote this book.

I'm a bit ashamed to say that Ive never read this book before. Ashamed since I like to read and there are people who don't like to read and were forced to read this one for school.

All SORTS of stuff is popping in my head now about Big Brother. Like, there are certain paralells in the book to modern society and yet students are forced to read this? Perhaps it's because it's a good book (certainly seems like a good book to me but it's right up my alley) or maybe perhaps they're showing students how bad it could be if you were to start letting your libertites start falling away? Maybe what will happen if we become docile, unquestioning creatures? If we just take everything at face value, swallowing it down without a moment's hesitation?

Or what if they're laying it out for students that THIS is what's going to happen and how it's going to happen so these are warning signs but come on, no need to worry. None of the signs have shown themselves, right? So go back home to your 24 hour news channels and your internet and be satisfied knowing you're safe and sound.

That the Government is protecting you. Almost like, a parent? No, a parent has too much authority. Perhaps a sibling? Like, say, an older brother?

A BIG BROTHER?

So much more to say but I have a crying pre-toddler to attend to.

And Deep Breath In... And Release

Ah, there's something really special about getting a new computer. Big ticket items always make me nervous when I'm buying them but that nervousness is going away with time. I think it's just me growing up.

When I was in college I bought an iPod. It was a thrd generation iPod with touch sensitive buttons in a row above the scroll wheel (something I think standard iPods should still have in an effort to cut down on moving parts) and I went to Best Buy to buy it. I got it in my hands and was walking it to the front of the store to purchase it. I had in tow my now-wife and one of my best friends. I put the iPod on the counter, was talking to the clerk as she no doubt went on about how I could have a free subscription to Entertinment Weekly or some crap like that and that was when I noticed I was shaking. And sweating.

In my defense, this was back when iPods were really expensive and it wasn't like I was rolling in the dough. The only reason I had the money was because I made a killing selling grotesque toys that I had been smart enough to buy at Hot Topic with my employee discount (and when they were on clearance) and held onto them for about two years before putting them on eBay unopened (of course). The PLAN was to pay off my student loan but since it was pretty small my buddy and wife convinced me to get the iPod. Not that it took too much arm twisting.

So there I was, shaking, sweating, thinking this is probably a bad idea, surely this has to be a bad idea, the kind of idea that's just going to bite me in the butt later on. Something's going to break on the car and I'll need to take care of that or something ridiculous like that. That kind of stuff always happens.

Well, I'll say that to this day that's still my iPod though I'd love to upgrade. Sometimes the screen doesn't work and I just got done replacing the battery in it. It works, but it's got some quirks to it now.

Anyway, that was the last major electronics purchase save a TV I bought when I came here to Warner Robins.

So yesterday we got a new computer and really tried to get as much bang for the buck that we could. We shopped on base so there wouldn't be any sales tax, got an HP with enough quality to it that we'd be happy hopefully for a long time (Kim's laptop has lasted five years now so that has to say something about their quality even if it does make a sound loud enough to make you think the end of the world is upon us) but not something where we're paying out the nose for fancy stuff.

I'm pretty satisfied with this family computer. Kim can do her school work assured that her work won't just be lost before emailing it out and we have speed like we've never had before. It's pretty great.

And the monitor we got is also pretty cool. Pictures look MUCH better.

Dream Job Application

I have a dream job. It's one of those jobs where only a few people have them and maybe they aren't the most stable jobs in the world, but it's a dream job nonetheless and... well... Well, when you get down to it, it's just a dream.

I'd like to work for Gretsch Guitars as an idea man. A modern Jimmie Webster if you will. Not that I'm comparing myself to Mr. Webster or anything, I'm not musically inclined (anything I can do comes from lots of hard work and zero raw talent) nor am I really educated in construction of the guitar. That's not what I'm looking to do.

I would LOVE to come up with ideas for Gretsch limited runs. I've got them, I've got ideas and customization ideas that go from one end of the model spectrum to just about the other and would love nothing more than to see if we could sell 75 of them if they were made. The ideas range from incredibly restrained to the point where the guitar LOOKS stock but is engineered with the player in mind to the radical.

It's not that I think Gretsch needs new models or a new perspective or anything like that. I am satisfied with their model line but have always been drawn to the models that AREN'T standard like an orange 6120. Everyone has an orange 6120 or an orange 5120 and I'm not drawn to them. The Vince Ray Hot Rods, the Hot Rods and Phoenix's in general, the odd guitars like the Corvettes and the Billy Bos, the almighty 6118T, THOSE are the guitars I love.

And like I said, I have ideas. As of right now, I have no less than five different ideas in mind and a couple others that are more in line with pickup and pickguard swaps.

So I propose to Gretsch to let me make a model, just one and see how it does. I ask for no financial compensation, just one of the modified model for free. I would offer all of my ideas at the table and have Gretsch pick the model THEY would think would sell the best, not my personal favorite. I think that most of them would actually sell pretty well, but of course I would say that - I'm the guy that came up with the mods.

I will say that everyone of my models are based on a current production model Gretsch which means that none of them would have to be built from the ground up (though one of THOSE ideas are possibly in the works too. Just working out a tuning issue right now).

How can I further entice you to bring in a true non-professional to pitch ideas for limited run models that would would probably be kind of expensive?

Hmmmm...

Well, you can exploit me. I'd be willing. How about this: you whip up a marketing statement that says that Gretsch fans are willing to work hard to figure out the logistics of making a new model (or modifying an existing model) and GRETSCH is unlike any other guitar manufacturer in that they actually let a fan of the brand come up with a limited run that they actually put out. 75 pieces of fan creation or modification.

That sounds like a company that cares.

I'm standing by, Gretsch.

Please call me.

Cheese & Rice!

Watching the news all morning (Spongebob wasn't on) I have seen a LOT of stuff I want to talk about and wish there was a way to have an almost Instant Messaging session with anyone who happens to read this. Like you hear housewives do with soap operas, how one calls another and they watch the show together saying to eachother "I can't believe he just did that!" or "Oh my god, did you see that coming?" That's what I want.

Ah, but it won't happen. For one thing, I'm now tethered to the wall for the internet. For other reasons, my computer's a POS that wouldn't be able to work fast enough even if it had wireless, I'm usually at work when all this stuff happens, and if I'm not, surely you are, right?

So, I'll have to settle for a summary and miss the stuff that only temporarily got my attention.

Lots of talk about Palin these last few days. I was watching the news last night and a story was talked about saying that her youngest son, the one with Down Syndrome might not actually be her child, but her oldest daughter's child (meaning that besides the one in her stomach right now she already has a kid). To prove this story a picture was released of her just talking to someone with a pregnant belly and a date at the bottom of the picture. But there was a problem that only a super huge geek could point out and it's this: The picture showed Palin talking to a reporter and in the picture was the reporter's camera man. OK? The camera that the camera man was using was said to have come out no less than two or three months AFTER the supposed date on the bottom of the picture. You've got to be pretty invested in the camera world to catch such a thing. I guess the stars aligned for that one.

But honestly, why should this matter? Isn't there enough ammo out there for the bloggers (of whom, I guess I am though just in the smallest sense, I promise) and critics to throw at Palin without making stuff up? Her 20 months as Governor maybe?

Now look, I'm going to come clean and be brutally honest right now: I'm not a Democrat nor a Republican. I'm very much a Libertarian and as such I like to say I lay no claim to a specific party purely out of heritage or habit. I think that people latching on to things that don't really matter like personal issues at home are very much missing the point. There's no reason to do that when everyone is doing such a fine job of tearing her down with credible points like being the Mayor of a town of 5,000 and how does this compare to being the runner-up to the President of the United States? That's a logical question and one that matters. This stuff at home... It just doesn't matter.

Moving on.

Fox News has been going on all morning about how great Palin and McCain are. Obviously. For a news agency that is "fair and balanced" they sure do sway to one side. And that's fine. I really don't think they're pulling the wool over anyone's eyes with that one. My issue lies with the fact that so many of the reporters are morons. I don't get it. It's like they went on a talent search, looked at the appearance of the hopeful and said "Do you have any interest in being a newsanchor?" and if they said yes a contract was slid in front of them.

They're the reason I'm pro-choice.

And while Fox seems to have the market on morons cornered, CNN has a different market in mind. Flipping over to that channel (I won't lie, I prefer CNN) I saw the lady reporting the news was seated in a chair that was leveled ABOVE the desk. Perhaps they lowered the desk? Or maybe raised the chair to hilarious heights but the result was the anchor showing a LOT of leg. It's not like this wasn't a welcome break from Fox's bleach blonde, always ready with the deer in the headlights stare, usually pastel wrapped lady anchor. Kind of a bad girls of news reporting. But it seemed a little... transparent that they were just trying to give you one more reason to keep it tuned to CNN.

Ah, but all of this is small beans to what I think no one is addressing right now (and it's a shame): Palin is a pawn. A poker chip. McCain is told he's too old, too out of touch and the youth, well, they just don't care. They're enticed by Obama, lured by his message of change and seduced by his cries of hope. The more time that goes by and the less questions he answers and the more bad press he steers you away from like a lame magician always waving his empty hand saying "look over HERE! HEY!! LOOK OVER HERE!!!" to get you distracted, the more fanatical his fans become. And honestly, it's no shock (be honest) that he's so popular. He's young, he's well spoken and he's black. We as a society have been called racist for a very long time and even the youth of today are called racist for not always saying "African American" and saying black. We have grown up being scared of what to say because we're scared of what might be said about us.

On a side note: I think this is why there is so much optional segregation in today's society. You don't have to worry about what to call the friends in your circle if you're all the same race. No worries about different terms or sensitive issues or different points of view when you're all the same.

Anyway, we have no balls. But more than that, we are so eager to please the powers-that-be by declaring ourselves NOT racist by electing a black man to President based on little more than skin color.

Come on, people! This is true! Don't try to lob racist grenades at me, I'm all for electing a man OR WOMAN that is right for the job but not based solely on appearances. I don't care about race but about QUALIFICATIONS. I won't say I'm color blind, that's ignorant, but I'm saying you need to look a little deeper than (literally) the surface.

So anyway, what does this have to do with Palin? McCain sees what's going on with Obama, saw the tears of people at the Democratic National Convention as they watched Hillary's speech saying "I wish she was the candidate" and he (McCain) snatched up his opportunity, enlisting the help of a young woman who mirrors his own political standings but in a much younger, MUCH more attractive package. Everyone says she's a young McCain (they're even calling her a Maverick) and that's what I'm saying too "SHE'S A YOUNG MCCAIN!" Is this GOOD? That's up to you. But I'm saying that she was put there because she's a woman and because McCain's not an idiot, just really see-through. "I'll see your VP pick of someone that is on par with me, Obama, with a VP that is on par with YOU." This is MERELY his attempt to get more votes by trying to show that he's progressive, and while he might not be so hip, the lady that could pass as the hot librarian sure is. She shoots guns, lives in an exotic place, and oh yeah, has boobs. You can see, it's painfully obvious, that he expects the women voters to come to him JUST BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT HAVE A PENIS.

It's ridiculous.

The funny thing about this as I see it anyway, is Obama still has the edge. We've always been a sexist society and we're a lot more comfortable with this than we are with out racist heritage. This isn't to say it's right or anything like that at all, but you hear a lot more sexist jokes around the water cooler than you do racist jokes.

...Poor Thing

I want to be serious for a second here.

I know of a man - a poor man - who is not poor financially. He seems to have all the means in the world. He is poor in that he suffers from a paranoia that is unique in that it's real. He has a real reason to be paranoid because his demons are in fact after him. Poor guy. And the guy, the poor guy, the brave guy, tries to get himself help. He actually tries to get away from his personal demons, to live a normal life but demons - as they are known to do - just won't leave him alone.

Do you feel for this guy?

I speak of course of the bird from Cocoa Puffs.

And you know what? Why can't the rabbit have any Trix? Are we TRYING to teach selfishness to our kids? Trix isn't the only cereal trying to teach this. Look at Fruity Pebbles. Barney, Fred's BEST FRIEND, can't have some of his cereal?

And where is the criminals from Cookie Crisp? Parents are cool with teaching their kids not to share but they don't want escaped convicts endorsing their kids' cereal?! Who's this wolf they're parading out there now? What does he have to do with Cookie Crisp?

And when will Lucky Charms realize that (besides my wife) no one in the world likes the stuff that isn't marshmallows?