Post #4

I have good news and I have bad news. And contrary to the way everyone usually likes to hear the delivery, I’ll tackle the good news first, then the bad.

So the good news: I found my iPod. It was under a couch cushion.

Unfortunately (bad news) I found it AFTER I took a PT test today. If you walk around a walking track twelve times, it’s tough to stay motivated, tough to stay moving at a decent pace and it gets REALLY boring. So boring your mind starts to drift and you don’t even realize that your pace has slowed drastically. No kidding, a blue jay landed on a tree branch and I almost stopped to look at it. I slowed considerably and caught myself just in time.

Man, I hate PT tests. I know I’m not alone in this either. I understand the need for them, I understand the desire for the AF to keep you trim (you look better in your uniform – no one wants a slob working for them) and fit (so you, you know, won’t die after running a mile in a bullet-proof vest) BUT it still sucks that you’re being evaluated in an official capacity on your body. I don’t know, there’s just SOMETHING about it that freaks me out, borderline scares me.

Maybe it’s because it feels like – as they wrap the tape measure around your waist – they’re measuring your worth. Your whole worth, summed up in your body, the thing that, as a member of the USAF, you probably don’t use that often. Nothing to do with your intellect, nothing to do with your job skills or leadership skills or anything that really matters, none of it comes in to play. But if you have a 40” waist, oh boy, you better watch out.

And this just seems a little wrong to me. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t such a HUGE thing to the AF. If you fail to meet the requirements, they can kick you out. How bad would it feel to be kicked out of a job you were qualified for, that you were good at, in a career where you were excelling in ALMOST every way, but you happened to eat fast food too much? And because of that, you got kicked out.

That’s a little ridiculous.

Oh well. It’s not like one guy is going to change this.

But I went out and walked my three miles (I can’t run) and my scores were good. Unfortunately it was a practice test so I get to do it again next week. I wouldn’t be so damn angry if I had FAILED the test, because it was a practice test and I was just seeing where I was after ALS. I’m more mad at myself for not having the confidence to say I can still do it.

But oh man, I’m mad at myself. Not cool, Russ. Not flipping cool.

I like to end most things on a positive note though so here we go: Next week, as I wake up early to drive to work to get evaluated again for a test I have absolutely zero faith in just so I can say that I’m worthy to stick around for one more year, I’ll step out into the chilly air and I will definitely have my iPod ready to go.